So I am still in panic mode but can see the light, distant, dim, murky but there is a little bit of hope. My training consists of everything and anything I can do that doesn't make my foot hurt.  My decision is that I have to concentrate on what I can do, not what I can't, if my focus stays on what I can't then the negative mind set monster will take over and I won't allow that to happen.  I still have six weeks which is ample time for recovery so my training and preparation has to focus on what I can do and what I can control.  Strength training, core, swimming, walking with pack once at that point (not yet), kit, organise all the things that need booking in, testing things that are unused, acquiring last minute essentials.  Keep focused on the things you can control!  Todays lesson ha ha!

My training today consisted of 1000m of swimming, just breast stroke as my swimming needs some work but that's not for now.  Up and down, so boring but my motivation was clear, this is it I can't actually do anything else so just get on with it.  Once I had got some lengths behind me it got easier so it was just a matter of cracking on.  I then put my pool slippers on, yes I have pool slippers ha ha!  I proceeded to smash out another 1000m running or power walking I guess in relatively quite a quick time so was very happy with that.  Later on today I will do some strength and conditioning in the gym to keeping the mind set focused on positives!

AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok panic is starting to set in now!  Two weeks off any kind of running, training is it a bare minimum and weight isn't dropping.  Next week is going to be a big week, I need a few things to start going in my favour.  I am on top of getting last bits of kit, I have organised jabs, I have organised medical and ECG and I have sorted train tickets.  I just need to get out there and do some training its stressing me out.  On the bright side I will have fresh legs and actually will of done a good taper down lol!   Ha ha ha yes laugh, that's all I can do otherwise my curl up and cry!

So over the next week of just training in the pool I will try to spend my time wisely getting kit as organised and ready as possible.  That's all I can do now!

After having such a great weeks training last week I have had a poor week this week.  Nothing I can do about it though really as had a stomach bug most of the week which apart from just not been very active it actually made my legs weak.  I also have had problems with my foot and heel.  What started out as what seemed like bruised toes or the ligament attaching to them so a slight pain on top of the foot and not being able to put any weight down on the fore foot.  This progressed to my heel or the archilles which became sore and aggrevated.  This has now moved up my leg so the muscle on the outside of my shin is sore which in a weird way makes me feel like its on the mend as its moving and in the past when that's happened it usually means its on the mend.

So with the food arrived, my mp3 player came yesterday but as with all technological things I am fairly useless at.  I have the mp3 player but I can't put music on it so now I think I have to buy an SD card.  Why didn't they send one with the stupid player, how ridiculous!  What else is left to get, small things really.  I still need a stove, sunglasses, hat, suncream, need to send shoes off to be stitched, still trying to organise my medical and ecg and need a cup/bowl.  So I have a few jobs over the next few weeks but my main plans are to get kitted up and get on the trails getting some miles in the bank with my pack on whether running, walking or crawling it doesn't matter I just need to get the miles and keep testing the kit getting used to things.

I am trying not to panic and am trying to be as organised as possible (very difficult lol) there seems to be lists, lists for lists and then panic lists!!!

Don't panic Mr Mannering!!!!!!!

All sorts of things happening at the moment.  Currently trying to get booked in for my medical and ECG, it seems quite difficult to even get booked in as there not sure what it is I'm doing so don't really have a clue what to book me in for.  I haven't yet sorted jabs out and I think I will need to get some so that's also on my list of things to organise pretty quickly.  I have ordered and had delivered my food for the week, which doesn't look much so might add a little to it but not too much as trying to keep the weight down.  I used a company that sorted the food into race stages for you putting the right amount of calories in each pack.  This is great for me not being the most organised of people!  It weighs some, but on the bright side its going to reduce daily thank goodness.

You even get a spork and some napkins ha ha!

What else have been sorting, trainers! Since getting my Scott Road running shoes which I have just not been convinced about for doing the MdS in.  There are great for normal running and training so they haven't been a waste of money, I could have just done with not buying them yet lol!  So, the new ones that I picked up Sunday at the Hardmoors Saltburn race are just awesome.  Super comfy, fit brilliantly and now have complete faith that I have the right shoes for the job.

Now all I have to do is get them sent off to get the stitching done for the gaiters Velcro.  There are still a few bits to buy and organise, I have just ordered the fuel blocks for the stove which you cant take on the plane so have to have delivered to the WAA tent at the start in Morocco and take the proof of purchase with you.  I need to buy the stove yet!  I also have to get an anti-venom pump, but other than that I think I am about there give or take a couple of small items.  Next job is to go through the mandatory kit list and start ticking things of to make sure no last minute surprises.  Next important purchase will be getting the train ticket for the out going to flight to my sister on the Thursday.  Argh! The training is the easy fun bit, organising all this stuff is what stresses me out lol!

The past few weeks I have had some great training sessions.  Hence why not had to write any updates.  Apart from a few more runs out at Millington where my progress is really starting to show.  More running in sections that in the past have proved too tough for me and needed to walk.  I have also been improving my recovery from a steep climb, and getting straight into running again to improve it.  The climbs have been a particularly pleasing part as I have tried to measure my progress on these sections by the number of times I have needed to stop for air and to let my heart rate to drop slightly.  I am now completing the climbs in one go with no need for stopping.

What else have I done?  Well apart from my gym sessions where I have continued to work on my strength and conditioning, things like lunges, squats, single leg squats, weights, press ups and TRX work and core by doing all kinds of sit ups and twists.  The main parts of my training that I am pleased with are the pack training runs that I have done on the treadmill with 5, 6, and 7 kilogram weighted packs. This combined with getting out on the trails is beginning to allow my body to function properly while under immense strain.  My main test run was last Thursday, the goal was to do around 16/17 miles so I did 16.5.  I weighted my pack to 5kg and headed out early so I could be back at a reasonable time.  I was hoping to get a good 3 hours on my feet, I didn't care if running or walking or mixing it up which as it turned out what happened.  I allowed short bursts of walking to recover and mainly no to over do it as like I said it was more important to get time on my feet with the pack as opposed to seeing how quick I could do it.

Once I had returned I was very pleased, good mileage and time on my feet.  This was perfect after the treadmill 12k the day before so very happy plus I didn't feel particularly broken just a bit wiped out.  Training is going well, more strength work and getting used to the pack.  Its the ankles and knee's that feel it, not my back which originally I thought I would suffer with.  Nearer the time I will start going out with it on nearly every day to get used to it more and more.

The Spine has passed, a short break has been had, and now training is in full flow for the Sahara!  Last week I had built up to getting out with my pack on.  I hit the hilly Millington on the Wolds to begin my tough hill work training.  My pack started off around 3.5kg and has now built up to 6kg.  The intention is to build up to 10kg and complete a couple of long walks/runs that will allow me to feel the benefit of hopefully having a lighter pack for the first couple of days of the challenge.  Obviously as the week goes on the pack becomes lighter.  So Millington with a 5kg pack was not easy, normally the 11 mile route which is tough on a good day would take me about 2 and half hours, this time it took just under 3!  I felt good though all the way round and ran where I wanted to and powered up the hills pushing myself to keep up the pace and not to let up.  I was definitely sweating some, wow I was dripping. I was wrapped up though as still pretty cold here especially up on the Wolds.  I went again last Sunday with Pete, this time with no pack just my bladder pack and the idea was to just try and work hard and pushing the running, I'd say trying for pace but its so difficult to get any I try to think more about maintaining as much running as can before I have to walk the incline and then on the steep hill sections I try to power up and see if I can complete without having to break so therefore stretching my capabilities each time in different ways.

I am now trying to mix this pack training with some general strength and conditioning for my legs, core, shoulders and arms.  This with a little speed work on the bike and treadmill is working well, whilst cross training with a bit in the pool and my job which is tennis.  I am now feeling the effects of the heavy training load as becoming more and more tired and hungry!

The Spine (the final undoing!!)

As we headed over Marsden Moor which felt like it was taking forever, we passed other mini-checkpoints with the Mountain Rescue team there making sure we were ok and didn't need any assistance.  There were children playing in the snow and having snowball fights and building snowman which was a great distraction even for the short period of time it was.  My favourite bit of the race was coming, the checkpoint in a lay by that at first I seemed doomed as was handed a cup of earl grey tea which was a lovely thought and was nice and warm but tasted blinking horrible lol!  Then as we headed off I couldn't help but notice two guys getting stuck into a burger from a van, oh my gosh was this really here.  So yes you guessed it we hung around for Tom to have a proper cuppa and me to devour a burger and a can of coke! Perfect ha ha!

Once my hunger was fully satisfied off we went again towards the M62 bridge, that's all I had in my mind, that was my current goal as I think it felt like a significant point on the route for me.  Apart from it seeming to take forever to get there, it was a tad icy which made it an interesting crossing it was almost like doing a tight rope but much safer, just!  There we were across and it was just to get to 'The White' pub carpark now and meet Rob and Amy again which was now becoming crucial as my headtorch was dimming and I had a long way to go yet.  Eventually we came across a signpost that suggested it wasn't far and we started heading down towards the road.  The path now had become less snowy and more muddy and rocky with the odd bog to contend with.  Then out of nowhere I see a little dog running round, that must be Albert. Yippee!!!

So my issues were that I had a short lived head torch, 10 miles to go before I could charge it. The plan was to attach the pebble charger whilst I ran to get me to Hebden Bridge so I could charge it.  Once we got to the car and had what seemed to be obligatory cup of tea I had a quick change and started preparing for the cold night ahead.  I asked Rob to pack the battery pack into my rucksack and we were off.  I now had a torch that could shine a dot on the moon but now I know that it will only last 3-4 hours.  My reserve Nathan hand torch let me down as when I got it out of my bag thinking I had been clever, it didn't work!  Which isn't great since I'd spent the night before charging it with everything else.  My nightmare was just beginning, and was only going to get worse!

Heading past Blackstone edge reservoir was a bit tricky, I knew this part as had done one of my recce's here.  I knew the path and conditions so felt good, the track we were on was treacherous though.  There may not have been snow all over it but ice, and ice is worse as we couldn't see it so every now and again one of us would look like Bambi slidding across the path waving our arms like we were trying take off and fly ha ha!  This was dangerous yet a little funny.  We were heading towards Stoodly Pike, the path turned from a track into a paved path as we headed out onto the moors.  As we went round the moorland the ground turned into a boggy mess, and my head torch was starting to fail.  So treading as carefully as I could I was still hopping and leaping about like a jumping bean until the occasional sinking into a boggy patch that I didn't see.  By this point I didn't care about mud and water it was a game of survival now.  I wasn't especially cold if anything I had to keep taking my hat off as was over heating.  The closer we got to Stoodly Pike monument the less and less I could see.  I knew this area because of my recce so I knew it was going to be rocky and dangerous to someone running blind.  I had to keep trying to use Tom's headlight as much as possible and he every now and again turned and shone the beam when it was a bad patch to help me through.  We eventually made it to the monument where we had caught up with another guy who was just taking a minute to check his map and get the right direction.  We all set off again together having a little chat and hoping that the other one knew the route better than the other.

The path took us downwards and off towards Hebden Bridge where I knew it was going to be a crucial point for me as I was already 3 hours behind my schedule and as good as no head torch.  It was just about me any more my actions were going to have consequences and will affect other peoples lives which wasn't really fair.  I was still trying to solve the problem of the head torch and still be able to continue the race.  It was looking less and less likely as I couldn't come up with a solution that wasn't going to hold me up even longer.  Tom was now talking about stopping at Hebden Bridge due to issues with his leg, this didn't help me as made it seem easier for me to make my decision which in hindsight I should have persevered and just taking 10 minutes to think through the problem.  This is ok though as this teaches you some important lessons and on these kind of events you just keep learning.

We got to Charlestown and by now it was a matter of deciding if I can get hold of Chris before the checkpoint to come and pick me up as I remember them saying in the brief that there was no reception.  The we crossed a bridge noticing the MRT van but no sign of anyone so just carried on looking for the path on the otherside of the road thinking nothing else of it.  The guy behind us crossed the bridge but then seemed to double back once he'd crossed the road as if his crew were waiting for him but we couldn't quite see.  This turned out to be another mini checkpoint, and we missed it!  The path then suddenly turned into a very very steep climb, still a track, cobbles almost which made it a bit slippy, especially with limited light like me.  This path just kept going up and up and seemed relentless, all I could think was how cruel just before the checkpoint but typical lol! A thin rain began making our final stand slightly less pleasant.  This path had gone on for so long now we were beginning to question the route and thought we had gone wrong somewhere.  This surely couldn't have happened as we had used the GPS device and I was following it on the map but Tom was becoming more and more convinced we were heading in the wrong direction.  I knew we had to meet the road then turn right, so until we met that road we needed to just keep going.  We were slightly concerned as there were no other torch lights, normal you would see them dotted about which gives you a little confidence in where your going, unless there all following you ha ha!  Out of no where a few head lights popped up and suddenly there were a number of us heading in.

We eventually met the road, I managed to get a signal and call Chris informing him I was pulling out and could he come and get me.  We headed towards the Scout centre which was the checkpoint.  The last test was an incredibly dark steep descent which was riddled with opportunities to break your ankle, again especially if you were doing it blind like I was.  We got there hurrah!  We checked in and gave the news we were pulling out. I was gutted as never dnf'd before but I was ready for a good plate of food and to be picked up.  We were asked to take our boots off and were given a tag, as if already at the maug, and to leave our kit in the kit room.  I was given a tour, toilets to the left followed by the showers, then the bunks if we need a sleep then the cantine.  Game on, this is where I'm heading a nice plate of spag bol and a cuppa!  Chris popped his head round the door after a short while and the pain of pulling out was over, it was time to head home.  Spine challenger was over, but not completed, I'm going back and I'm going to finish the job!