Can I actually do this mamouth challenge I have set myself?  This is what I have been dealing with all week, ifs, buts, what if's, can I's??????  At the start of the week I decided to call it the psychological phase, well I am going to call this last week the 'Paranoia phase!!!' Its unbelievable the games or tricks the mind plays with you on this final stage.  Its almost like there's a final barrier to break through where the mind knows the body is in for a tough time so what it does is sends a barrage of message's in one form or another to try and convince you not to put yourself through the ordeal.  Its very good at this, because if you let it, it will beat you!!!!  Major crisis today, as per normal I'm not actually that prepared apart from rushing out and having to make the normal last minute buys such as mmmm yes a map that would be a good idea, mmm waterproof leggings since there on the mandatory kit list and a survival bag, you know kind of quite important things but in the world of Ed last minute will be fine ha ha!!    Now that wasn't the crisis, that's just normal behaviour in my life, so to do anything other would upset the rhythm yeah????  I ordered a super duper new waterproof jacket as required with a hood unlike my wonderful Christmas present that I really want to wear for it but can't.  For the right reasons this was ordered, anyway this was at the start of the month now being a good 3 weeks in 'no' jacket so I give them a ring and its been sent back and they'd forgot to notify erm meeeeeee! The chap on the phone was great so I can't complain at all they were really good, I chose a new jacket and its arriving next day please please please as my run is the day after!!!

How do I feel??? Quite good actually but this I think is that my brain is deflecting the actual reality of what I'm doing because it knows its in for it.  Laugh I know, what the hell am I going on about, but its true, I have no worries or concerns about the distance only food, drink and whether I can prevent myself from getting lost ha ha! The distance is irrelevant, as its the ability to keep going so therefore it doesn't matter if its 10 miles, 20, 30, 40, 50 or a hundred. Learn how to survive it and you have the key.  That's what I am convincing myself and I'm sticking to it!

Tomorrow will be exciting as just want to get on with it now but final kit checks and bag backing in order followed by work, gym, jacuzzi and the right meal!!!!  Then bed..........

Next blog will be Sunday, what happened? how much I'm hurting! and whats next?????