After Sundays entertainment I decided I needed to get back out on the road so I don't lose the advantage of hard work.  So Monday morning came, nice early alarm but I still wasn't feeling confident of getting a decent run in without interruption so my plan was, take the kids to school and do the food shop and then see where I'm at.  This is all worked out fine and I headed out the door feeling good and up for it.  I can always tell when I've had a long period without drinking alcohol because my legs just feel indestructible.  My intention was to not get carried away and to maintain a consistent pace and include 5x1k interval efforts. It felt great now with my weight getting nearer and nearer to my goal, a bounce reappearing in my step that I briefly once had a long time ago.  

My training, what am I going to do to achieve running a 160 miles?

I've spent the last few months basically starting again, which is never a negative, its a realistic approach to achieving great things.  My injuries have held me back and hampered my training over the past two years really.  I am now really getting myself into a strong position to be able to do this thing.  I know it might seem I'm obsessed with my weight but it such a big catalyst to being able to go harder and further. My theory this time is to get the weight off as quickly as possible whilst still training but have that as the main focus, once its down to within a few KG like it is now then I can start adding the load and intensity.  If I weigh less, its easier on my body all round, its not like I'm popping out to do a 10k its a long long way!  I now feel my base level is in a good solid place so I can start not just increase the running load but I can work on my overall fitness too.  I need my whole body strength improving to cope with the event.

So what am I going to do to make me the greater than the 1%?

I'm going to need endurance skills that you don't just get from a bit of running or popping in the gym.  No ,no, I'm going to be going out in weather that looks horrendous, I'm going to carry big heavy packs, I'm going to train my legs and then try go for a run.  Weighted vest stair training is a really good one you can learn to love. What I'm basically doing is looking how to make it as uncomfortable as possible to make it as realistic as possible! I will start some hill work, trudging up and down the moors with weighted packs.

How do we achieve great things?

Discipline, hardwork, and relentless forward progress!

 Not sure where to start with this one lol!  I think this weekend gone I've discovered what happens when you increase protein into your diet.  Oh yeah! You know what's coming ha ha!  Sunday was meant to be a 16 miler, that was on my programme for Thursday but I switched it due to be being at the vets with Bertie the dogs for his 'not so fun day out'.  I planned it so I was to get up at 4.30am and be out the door for 5am with knowledge of my route getting me a finish before 8am when the kids will be up and breakfast service required.  I was actually looking forward to this run, weight is down, fitness is up, spirits are high and I was ready.  I knew something wasn't right but I just wasn't sure, I went to the toilet before I left as usual so as to avoid any trips into fields or trees and get myself sorted for a good trek out.  Nothing happened even though I knew I actually needed to go but I thought I'd just better get going and take some paper with me in case.  Typically half a mile down the road I thought I was going to have a bit of a mishap. I ran off route to find a nice quiet hidden location in which to get myself sorted.  Oh no, it still wasn't happening  but was now feeling a bit painful and awkward.  Sorry for the detail but best shared lol! So my dilemma was do I risk it and carry on or just head back to safety.  I actually decided I had to head back it was no use carrying on, I'd used up my supply of paper thinking I'd been clever for actually putting some in my bag but daft not to put the whole roll in!  I went home and started researching the solution to my worsening problem.  

Several hours later and many unproductive visits to the loo with some different attempts to get my guts sorted, things started happening.  The problem now was, I was in quite a bit of pain and any thoughts of going for a run at any point that day had gone down the lav. I actually started feeling a bit washed and weak so nothing was really happening for the rest of the day and it was just time to move forward and plan the week ahead.  What a day! I've never been through that before and never wish to again.  Today was similar but no where near as bad and I managed to get for an 8 miler even with struggling towards the end with the opposite problem which was also terrifying whilst out running and nowhere to hide eeeekkkk!!!!

The path we choose determines the outcome.  If you want the results and success then it has to be the tough path.  It just has to be!  If you want to become resilient and mentally strong then you need to have been pushed, tested and even broken.  There is no one who can do it for you, you are on your own.  Again, it has be this way to build your inner strength, we can have people help us, guide us, support us but they can't do the 'hard yards' they won't be there at 4.30am saying get up we need to run, they won't be there with their hand on the fridge saying 'no more food you've had enough calories today', they won't be there!!!  You can do it, but its choosing isn't it, its choosing to have a few uncomfortable months to achieve something very few others can do.

Remember your mind is trying to trick you!!! It wants you to fail and give up, it wants an easy life.  Don't listen to it, its lying!!!! 

It's YOU versus YOU!!! Beat the negativity, win the battle :)

 Wow!

10kg lighter and back training well.  What a turn around!!! So So pleased with where I've got myself through sheer relentless discipline, hard work and believing that it will make a difference.  My weight is such a big thing as you may have guessed by now.  Its the psychological impact it has on my drive, resilience and attitude to the training.  I need to see those results and then, I buy in and I'm full on 110%!!

The last few weeks I've really felt the difference, yes my weights come down and my training is feeling really good but fatigue keeps hitting me with the reduction in calories.  There are two ways to deal with this, give in and start eating more to cope with the training and work load or accept it as part of the process and my journey.  Don't get me wrong I understand the need for calories and get the right food in so I'm still careful with what I'm having.

What I'm loving though is that great feeling when I'm running. It's definitely not easy but I'm moving better, it doesn't hurt, and my range of movement is so much greater so I feel I can stride out and put in a good effort. The Yoga is paying off, my ability to move greater as my range of motion is improving.  I'm now back to looking forward to my long runs, and enjoying the suffering again because I know I can cope with it better.  

Getting up in the morning used to be hell, its improved dramatically!! My back is as good as new again as long as I keep up with my exercises and stretches.  My heel get sore now and again but that's a good little reminder not to get complacent and to remember the need to do the basics.  

I truly feel I am getting there, back in to the best shape I've ever been in but there's still some way to go yet.  I'm looking at races I want to enter again that are further or tougher and can only be achieved if I become the best version of me.  Last time I was like this was just after lockdown, I know because I did my best attempt on the 160 that year and felt great and then went on to finish the Lakeland 100.  If, the million dollar question, if, I can get my weight lower and get a bit stronger and keep improving my pace I'll be ok to enter the Hardmoors 200 again.  It is all mindset though, I can't emphasise this enough, yes I have to train hard and do the work others won't do but really its what's going on in your head.  For me personally, as a not so natural runner, I have to believe I can do it.  I accept it's hard only a faint chance I might actually complete it but that's enough to tease me in to the training and becoming able to even have a go.  Then, I have to want it more than all the other things that are associated with comfortable living.  This means, what I eat, am I drinking alcohol, sleeping in (not that I do anyway) and how committed am I to the training, what am I giving up and missing out on to do the necessary things for this event. I get it, most people wouldn't be interested, they might seem keen but not enough to put themselves through months of suffering and staying committed to the goal.  That's the tough bit, and you haven't even started the race at this point!!

I'm finally getting back to giving myself a chance, now its up to me to push on and be in the best physical and mental state I can.  I'm not finishing this race, wherever that might be whether 70 miles, 100 miles or 150 miles without knowing I gave it everything, that I pushed myself beyond, and I tested my resilience to the max.  If I give in now to the small things then I'll be susceptible to giving in before the job is done, and that is unacceptable. The race doesn't start until you want to quit, then its game on!!!

I'm not quite there yet, but I'm in touching distance of achieving my goal! 

I can,

I will!

Doing the hard yards!

 Doing the hard yards!

So this isn't just about getting the miles in on mornings when its lashing down, freezing cold and icy or just simply when I'm tired from the day to day regime of life itself, oh no, its about stretching constantly to keep on top of recent injuries and to help prevent new ones.  For me this is a biggie, I seem to have acquired quite bad flexibility over the years and now having to work hard at overcoming this.  So apart from ritual-like stretching I have yoga booked in my diary every week on a Friday.  I am completely and utterly useless at this but it gives me an hour of stretching and working areas that I would probably ignore.  I spend most of the session chuckling to myself as I'm flexing a leg here or bending my body there or just simply balancing on one leg like the leaning tower of Pisa ha ha!!!  What else, oh yeah food and drink consumption, ugh!!  So to achieve any kind of success in weight loss my first step is 'Dry January' or as its turns in to, 'Dry January, February, March and April' lol.  One month wasn't enough unfortunately so I have to keep going and now this is something I go through every year.  So, no booze, rule number 1.  Next I have cut out crisps and chocolate, not that I think I have too much of this stuff but to get the weight off that I need then I have to cut it out altogether ugh!! Once I've done that another biggie is bread which I probably find even harder than beer, I'm on track to achieve my goals but I still have to count calories and be careful.  I'm focusing on getting a good level of protein, reduced salt intake and no sweet stuff. UUUGGGHHH!!!

These are the hard yards!

As Alex Ferguson once said "You can't have success without sacrifice!"

The 160 has been a target for a few years now and I've been close to achieving it once before but I've not really been in a good place physically for the past 18 months so I'm really trying hard to 'control the controllables' as my wife would say.  So for me this means, weight, training, self-care and sleep.  So, as you may gather by now one of my main hold ups is my weight, but really this is a 'controllable', I can do something about it, its in my own hands (head) to whether I do it or not so like I've said recently its mindset.  I have to focus on it, fight one day at a time and achieve small targets. Again, with regards to actually training, I have to get into good habits, routines and stick to the plan, build and grow! Self-care, for me this about looking after myself so little things like eating well, getting the protein I need to help recover, stretching, massages, foam roller, a bit of swimming (I'm not a fan but it helps!) and a bit of time in the jacuzzi for my back. Sorting my feet and looking after them as they can be come an issue if I let them, and if you've seen them then you know what I'm talking about ha ha! I've even got in the ice bath a few times to help with recover after runs.  Now that I'm not drinking my sleep has improved as it always does, but I'm trying to not always go out running as early as I can all the time, even though I like this I'm trying to allow a little bit of rest to help recovery.  I'm currently feeling good, but the problem is once I'm like this I'm not as tired when I go to bed and I can't help getting up early doh!

I know its a few months away but I'm actually already getting excited for this race as I know I'm doing the right things and getting myself in to a good place for it.  I keep thinking about the areas on the route that I know will be key so I'm thinking of getting out on the course and covering some miles over these sections.  Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable, thats what Goggins says, so I need to become comfortable with certain sections that I know will push me to my limits.  I'm certainly not going to go and run 100 miles and then get to the sections just so I can experience the suffering but if you go run them with confidence and set little markers as goals to hit then it becomes easier on the day.

So just remember...

The long road back!

 Off we go again!!!

Hardmoors 160 entered, 3 months of graft in the bag, half a stone off, and a long long way to go!!  The thing is, as my wife now knows only too well, its almost like the bigger challenge the more I love it.  The challenge isn't just the 160 miles of running around the North Yorkshire Moors for 3 days non-stop barely eating or drinking without sleep or stopping, no no I think its the preparation phase I relish the most.  Its the changes I've got to make that most people wouldn't even dream of doing especially now I'm nearing a magical age of 50 (not just yet!!).  I have to increase training volume, decrease consumption of food and alcohol, stay away from the snacks and treats, get less sleep, get up and train basically in the middle of the night to some people.  I love this challenge because its mindset, strength of mind, will, desire to do what it takes and prove to myself I'm in control of my own body not giving in to habits, cravings, bad treats and lack of self control.  This is just me, its fine whatever anyone else likes or wants to do but this is me, I'll do my way like Frank once said!

This all began back in October once my problems with my back started improving, after nearly 18 months of not being able to stand up straight and long periods of that in considerable pain.  As a family we headed to Centre Parcs for our annual trip to the cabin in the forest and waterslides.  This I had decided was where it was going to begin!  I'd started attending yoga once a week again but had only been a couple of times by this point but I was already starting to feel the benefit and it gave me a lift, a sense that I will still be able to do things I'm striving for and to not quite throw in the towel just yet.  So I was going to use Centre Parcs as a retreat and an opportunity to reset and provide myself with the starting point to go on from.  I was wanting to fit in a few short runs, my stretching routine (yoga) and a little bit of strength work to compliment the other two things.  I made it a priority to do the stretch routine in the mornings, and then  again after we'd been in the pool and again in the evening.  This worked well and I came away with a mini win, a sense I'd stuck to my guns and achieved something, even if it was only a small win it was progress.  My hips were still bad and causing problems but I knew they were improving and would just take time.  Back I went to the yoga sessions and short steady runs looking to increase distance once things improved further.  

The day soon came round for the Hardwolds 80.  I knew I wasn't in great shape phyically or weight wise but I was going to get out there and do what I could because its the only way I know and its my way of doing things.  I had to know where I was at good or bad but its the brutal reality of long distance running.  It turns out I was in a bad way, pulling out after only 20 ish miles my hip flexors were bad and my back, but the positives were I'd put 20 miles in the bank and not made myself any more injured, I listened to my body.  Running on the ice was just not good for me I was strong enough to hold my posture and balance which was what started causing the problems in my back.  This was fine, I knew it was going to be on a wing and prayer but now I knew.  Its time to get down to work!

Christmas is only just around the corner at this point at my weight wasn't change but my mentality had.  I wanted to do this and have another go but it wasn't going to really start until January when the diet begins and I'm not drinking.  Inadvertently a payment went to my running coach Ronnie Staton and rather than ask for a refund I said lets get started now rather than in Jan.  It was the end of November heading into December, so I made the decision, I was going to start putting the effort in earlier than normal to get a head for the January regimne.  It made for a tough Christmas period as I was very reluctant to participate in certain aspects such as chocolates etc but I still had a good time and had most things, I just held back a little and tried to restrain myself.  Training was picking up we'd decided on a back to basics month so low mileage but gaining consistency overall.  This with the yoga started working a treat, I really felt the benefits and improvement was happening, it was game on!  I knew i was in a good place and started really looking forward to getting some weight off, this was going to be the next major hurdle.  

Strong mind-Strong body!!!

One foot in front of the other.....

No truer word spoken!! So, my re-build, most definitely back at it.  Its a slow process as still substantially over-weight for what I am trying to achieve.  The positives are exciting though.  Since my visits to the physio my back is almost fully recovered, I'm not feeling any ill effects from my training and I feel soooooo mmmuuuccchhhh better each day.  My heel recovery seems to be a bit slower but the improvements are massive, I don't really suffer much now with it but I can still feel it a bit so I need to persevere with my rehabilitation strengthening exercises.  

What I'm loving is the fact that I can now get out and train, its not amazing stuff but at least I feel I'm now moving forward and progressing.  Yes I've had a setback but now I've just got to dig in and get back to where I want to be.  Just by being able to get back in the gym, not alone the running has improved my mental side of things.  My mindset is now fully focused and putting in the extra work required.  I'm just beginning my resilience training which should help pick me up a bit.

As Christmas is looming this means the Arc of Attrition is only around the corner, therefore my Christmas list is extensive or should I say very specific more to the point.  Due to the mandatory kit list there are a few items I need obtain plus a few upgrades needed.  Its actually quite exciting, I've opted for a bigger pack as I will be on my own with no crew on this adventure so I'll be carrying everything I need with only a few checkpoints and one drop bag for assistance.

Even now after 8 years from where I started my main motivations are to show my daughter what the human spirit can achieve when dig deep and look for something more.  I'm very much a believer in positive mindset and attitude, giving yourself the best chance possible and believing in yourself.  For most of us we have to learn these things, some people are naturally like this but does that come from there up bringing or life experiences!! We can definitely learning methods to help give us positivity but I think some people just laugh it or mock it but the simple things really do work.  Yeah sure it can feel forced at times but its about what you fall back on rely, such a positive comments, even little things when people ask how you are or how your day is going, rather than just say 'yeah not bad thanks', you could say 'yeah really good cheers' or 'brilliant thank you'.  What this does is builds a resilience wall as I like to think of it, and each brick I add keeps me where I need to be.  I don't even think about it now, so when it is harder or I need a bit of resilience i know how to cope with it.

My daughter is my motivator, my wife is my rock.  I will succeed in my pursuit of achieving not only the Hardmoors 160 but overall I will complete a 200 mile race.  May be not this year but I'm getting neaer everyday as my mindset is getting tougher and my body more resilient.  

I can, I will!!!

I CAN I WILL!!!

So not out of it yet..........

Yes you guessed it, I'm back in training and  remotivated with a vengeance.  I accept I'm not in a great place physically but it's almost like I enjoy that part of the challenge to, it makes me feel in control of my own body if that makes sense.  I'm not completely healed which is fine because I know this takes time, and in an ideal world I'd give myself longer before pushing on again, but I can't help myself. It feels good ha ha!!!!  My back is mending and I'm getting stronger each day.  I'm so much further on, I actually forgot what it was like to stand up straight, I feel 2 inches taller its fantastic. To not not feel pain every single day, getting out of bed, getting dressed, putting trainers on, getting in and out of the car etc etc its great!!

How have I re-started?

Well, I've listened I think that was the first step ha ha! I've taken in the advice given and what I've read up on.  Yes I know wow well done you lol!  The first step I've taken is to actually do the stretches and strength building exercises Jude (the physio) gave me, not only that I've done extra and pushed it once I felt the benefits.  Just the reduction in pain has been such a relief and a motivator.  I've now started doing some gym work as I just feel so weak and a bit shit physically. Once I started though, boom, its brilliant my legs are responding and I'm building my strength up.  I've missed the physical work, its not just the muscles and your physique its your mind.  It makes me feel happy, knackered yes but in a good way.

Last week as if by magic I got an email saying I'd got a place in The Grand Union Canal Race which is 145 miles from London to Birmingham, wow!  Scared and excited, and yes of course I accepted and off we go.  Now we have two major races lined up for next year and I'm getting my chance to do one of the most iconic Ultra Races in our country which has been on my list since the start.  Majorly excited and can't wait.  

My worry is that I now over do it in my overly eager ways to recover quick and push as hard as I can to become the best version of me possible.

How did I start I keep asking myself, was it through the love of running, no, it was through a burning desire and need to be better and show my daughter that you can be anything you want to be and achieve great things way beyond our initial limits or what we think are our limits.  What my life has shown me up to this point so far is that we can achieve far greater things and keep breaking down our own walls and barriers to become better versions of ourselves if we really want it. 

Its not over yet, my story is only just beginning!!! My journey has taken a few turns even dog leg corners lol but always moving forward!!

What do they say 'Impossible is nothing' which I agree with to a certain degree, but only with the love and support of my amazing wife.  Who always tells me exactly how it is, no BS!!!  

I CAN I WILL

ONWARDS!!!!