Wow!

10kg lighter and back training well.  What a turn around!!! So So pleased with where I've got myself through sheer relentless discipline, hard work and believing that it will make a difference.  My weight is such a big thing as you may have guessed by now.  Its the psychological impact it has on my drive, resilience and attitude to the training.  I need to see those results and then, I buy in and I'm full on 110%!!

The last few weeks I've really felt the difference, yes my weights come down and my training is feeling really good but fatigue keeps hitting me with the reduction in calories.  There are two ways to deal with this, give in and start eating more to cope with the training and work load or accept it as part of the process and my journey.  Don't get me wrong I understand the need for calories and get the right food in so I'm still careful with what I'm having.

What I'm loving though is that great feeling when I'm running. It's definitely not easy but I'm moving better, it doesn't hurt, and my range of movement is so much greater so I feel I can stride out and put in a good effort. The Yoga is paying off, my ability to move greater as my range of motion is improving.  I'm now back to looking forward to my long runs, and enjoying the suffering again because I know I can cope with it better.  

Getting up in the morning used to be hell, its improved dramatically!! My back is as good as new again as long as I keep up with my exercises and stretches.  My heel get sore now and again but that's a good little reminder not to get complacent and to remember the need to do the basics.  

I truly feel I am getting there, back in to the best shape I've ever been in but there's still some way to go yet.  I'm looking at races I want to enter again that are further or tougher and can only be achieved if I become the best version of me.  Last time I was like this was just after lockdown, I know because I did my best attempt on the 160 that year and felt great and then went on to finish the Lakeland 100.  If, the million dollar question, if, I can get my weight lower and get a bit stronger and keep improving my pace I'll be ok to enter the Hardmoors 200 again.  It is all mindset though, I can't emphasise this enough, yes I have to train hard and do the work others won't do but really its what's going on in your head.  For me personally, as a not so natural runner, I have to believe I can do it.  I accept it's hard only a faint chance I might actually complete it but that's enough to tease me in to the training and becoming able to even have a go.  Then, I have to want it more than all the other things that are associated with comfortable living.  This means, what I eat, am I drinking alcohol, sleeping in (not that I do anyway) and how committed am I to the training, what am I giving up and missing out on to do the necessary things for this event. I get it, most people wouldn't be interested, they might seem keen but not enough to put themselves through months of suffering and staying committed to the goal.  That's the tough bit, and you haven't even started the race at this point!!

I'm finally getting back to giving myself a chance, now its up to me to push on and be in the best physical and mental state I can.  I'm not finishing this race, wherever that might be whether 70 miles, 100 miles or 150 miles without knowing I gave it everything, that I pushed myself beyond, and I tested my resilience to the max.  If I give in now to the small things then I'll be susceptible to giving in before the job is done, and that is unacceptable. The race doesn't start until you want to quit, then its game on!!!

I'm not quite there yet, but I'm in touching distance of achieving my goal! 

I can,

I will!