The difference is incredible! One week ago I felt drained, exhausted and run down with heavy legs and motivation waning.

We had the weekend booked away in Filey for a family break.  This was just what I needed, a rest!  I had originally thought of using the weekend away to get some good training runs in along the coastal path but the decision was easy.  Rest was best, recharge and prepare to go again for the final stint before the HM55.  I was still fairly strict with what I was eating and drinking, kids had pizza on Friday night but I stuck to rice leftovers and a bit of meat.  On the Saturday we planned to have Fish and Chips so I again measured my days food to allow for this so I could just enjoy it as I'd been thinking about it all week.  My weight is still dropping, but had a little plateau last week resuming weight loss though now but just slightly slower which is fine.

How am I feeling at the moment?  Monday, I decided to just get out on the road and do my comfort run which was the route from my house being 6.85 miles.  The idea being, using this a confidence booster and a restart entry run.  Started off a little bit sluggish so I just took it steady dropping back as and when needed and just weighted for the feeling to push on.  It came after approximately 3 miles which was very welcome, nothing crazy but it gave me a chance to increase the pace and feel like I hadn't gone backwards at all.  Tuesday at work was long and steady but nothing too demanding, followed by a padel match in the evening.  I felt good until a little twist which I instantly felt in my groin and inner thigh.  I knew it wasn't serious so carried on.  Wednesday morning came and my glute and groin were very sore, I was struggling and felt a little down because of it but I persevered and stayed positive.  I decided I was still ok for the run I'd planned so stretched and took some paracetamol and went.  I was a bit tentative to begin with but as it eased I began to feel good so pushed on.  

This was it I was back in the game!  After doing some more stretches and light weights I took the dog for a walk carry a 10kg weighted pack.  Again I was feeling really good and the sense of I'm getting in the zone for first event was upon me.  This is it, we are on!

Its time to begin my Over the Line work!  This is mindset and mental toughness training.

 Interesting week so far.  I feel mentally focused and on point, even researching all sorts of foods, training and races.  Physically I feel a bit drained and heavy legged.  I feel zoned in on what I'm trying to achieve but I'm running through treacle constantly or dragging a heavy tyre like sled pulling.  So, how do I get back at it? Keep the focus, keep eating well and re-creating the menu and rest a bit or change it up.  What I find when I'm engrossed in the training like at the moment is how deep mentally I get involved lol!  I'm now exploring 'Mindset', mental strength conditioning.  I already feel this is one of my strengths but how do I tap into it even more to give me what I need to achieve my goal.  Process.....this is the key!  Setting out small individual targets and challenges that are going to build towards the bigger goal.  Look for the key elements I need to succeed, then develop or focus on them separately before fitting them together.

Progress report on weight loss - currently I've plateaued at a good low weight for me and approximately half a stone or 3Kg off my target weight.  This is fine I am happy with where I currently am as my body adjusts.  I will have another push starting next Monday to hit another benchmark.  My mindset on this is very clear, I've done the initial hard work I now have to refocus my efforts on going the extra mile.  I need the calories and energy to be able to keep pushing my training to the next level but I also need to keep dropping the excess weight.  What do I do to get this working, I still need a calorie deficit but I need to be able to train harder.  So,  I've kept up the increased protein level, introducing Whey protein, I have also ordered some Creatine which will help muscle growth after training, help recovery through the increased growth which should allow the muscles to cope with a greater training load.  

Remember - Growth Mindset, don't get stuck doing only what you know.  Look to learn more, new things and add something more to help get the best you.  I feel like I'm really out of my comfort zone with nutrition, supplements and different styles of training.  My desire to succeed allows me to want to learn anything that's going to help me.

The greatest ingredient is still - HARDWORK!!!

 Just as I thought I was getting somewhere, boom! oh no....

So yet again I was all up for a long run on Thursday and it didn't go quite as planned, not through any physical issues but more through tiredness and exhaustion.  So my intention was, after our weekend away in the van to head out on Monday morning and smash 18 miles. Yet again I was getting excited about getting out for a long run as this is what I always crave and why I do the other stuff.  The weekend adventure in the van just to the coast was our first trip out in it.  More on that in a bit, but I think the bed makeup didn't suit my back because on Sunday morning I could barely walk or stand up straight.  I felt like I had 6 months ago, I was mega scared that it I'd reversed all the hard work I'd done. We'd set off on our walk from Boggle Hole heading towards Robin Hoods Bay initially then on a bit more which turned out to be as far as Bay Ness along the Cinder Track and then back on the Cleveland Way.  It took what felt like forever before my back eased and hip flexors stretched out, it had been awful, the pain brought back the months of agony I'd already been through.  I thought that was going to be it and it would be fine Monday morning again.  Oh no how wrong could I be, back to square is it? I hope not.  Plans for long run put on hold again till Thursday.  Straight back to my stretches and off I went on a dog walk to see how bad.  Just like before I could barely move down the street but again it eased and felt better.  I decided after the food shop I was going to head out for what was on my schedule which was an 8 mile run.  More stretching and thorough warm up first though!

The Van!  Or should I say the BW Van (not VW), this was going to be our future adventures away together.  We'd opted for a basic shell of a van so we could renovate it as we go, learning what we wanted and needed.  Off we went on Saturday afternoon after packing everything we needed and more, Sarah packing for an artic adventure with blankets, duvets and yes hot water bottles. I packed my shorts lol!  We headed off to 'Falling Foss' a carpark that was known as a campervan overnight parking spot.  We arrived and got set up and took the dog for a walk down the stream to the falls and back.  Wow this was awesome, we'd finally done it. The adventure has now begun and we are now writing our own future. The places we'll go, the times we'll have, the memories we'll make together are just beginning.

Ok so back the job in hand.  The training!  What areas do I need to improve?  I'm looking at working on my upper body strength including core and arms. Overall body strength is key to the endurance factor.  I'm also looking into better nutrition during training and during the event.  More research required.  I feel my weight has stabilised or plateaued at the moment but I feel I've only just got myself to a weight that I should be at anyway so the next phase is to get under this and start edging towards to my race weight but no rush as I need the calories with the training I'm doing.  Keeping it steady and not gaining any is the key now.  I've just ordered a new book on Hill running which shall be interesting and I hope very helpful.

Relentless Forward Progress!!

STRONG MIND STRONG BODY

 After Sundays entertainment I decided I needed to get back out on the road so I don't lose the advantage of hard work.  So Monday morning came, nice early alarm but I still wasn't feeling confident of getting a decent run in without interruption so my plan was, take the kids to school and do the food shop and then see where I'm at.  This is all worked out fine and I headed out the door feeling good and up for it.  I can always tell when I've had a long period without drinking alcohol because my legs just feel indestructible.  My intention was to not get carried away and to maintain a consistent pace and include 5x1k interval efforts. It felt great now with my weight getting nearer and nearer to my goal, a bounce reappearing in my step that I briefly once had a long time ago.  

My training, what am I going to do to achieve running a 160 miles?

I've spent the last few months basically starting again, which is never a negative, its a realistic approach to achieving great things.  My injuries have held me back and hampered my training over the past two years really.  I am now really getting myself into a strong position to be able to do this thing.  I know it might seem I'm obsessed with my weight but it such a big catalyst to being able to go harder and further. My theory this time is to get the weight off as quickly as possible whilst still training but have that as the main focus, once its down to within a few KG like it is now then I can start adding the load and intensity.  If I weigh less, its easier on my body all round, its not like I'm popping out to do a 10k its a long long way!  I now feel my base level is in a good solid place so I can start not just increase the running load but I can work on my overall fitness too.  I need my whole body strength improving to cope with the event.

So what am I going to do to make me the greater than the 1%?

I'm going to need endurance skills that you don't just get from a bit of running or popping in the gym.  No ,no, I'm going to be going out in weather that looks horrendous, I'm going to carry big heavy packs, I'm going to train my legs and then try go for a run.  Weighted vest stair training is a really good one you can learn to love. What I'm basically doing is looking how to make it as uncomfortable as possible to make it as realistic as possible! I will start some hill work, trudging up and down the moors with weighted packs.

How do we achieve great things?

Discipline, hardwork, and relentless forward progress!

 Not sure where to start with this one lol!  I think this weekend gone I've discovered what happens when you increase protein into your diet.  Oh yeah! You know what's coming ha ha!  Sunday was meant to be a 16 miler, that was on my programme for Thursday but I switched it due to be being at the vets with Bertie the dogs for his 'not so fun day out'.  I planned it so I was to get up at 4.30am and be out the door for 5am with knowledge of my route getting me a finish before 8am when the kids will be up and breakfast service required.  I was actually looking forward to this run, weight is down, fitness is up, spirits are high and I was ready.  I knew something wasn't right but I just wasn't sure, I went to the toilet before I left as usual so as to avoid any trips into fields or trees and get myself sorted for a good trek out.  Nothing happened even though I knew I actually needed to go but I thought I'd just better get going and take some paper with me in case.  Typically half a mile down the road I thought I was going to have a bit of a mishap. I ran off route to find a nice quiet hidden location in which to get myself sorted.  Oh no, it still wasn't happening  but was now feeling a bit painful and awkward.  Sorry for the detail but best shared lol! So my dilemma was do I risk it and carry on or just head back to safety.  I actually decided I had to head back it was no use carrying on, I'd used up my supply of paper thinking I'd been clever for actually putting some in my bag but daft not to put the whole roll in!  I went home and started researching the solution to my worsening problem.  

Several hours later and many unproductive visits to the loo with some different attempts to get my guts sorted, things started happening.  The problem now was, I was in quite a bit of pain and any thoughts of going for a run at any point that day had gone down the lav. I actually started feeling a bit washed and weak so nothing was really happening for the rest of the day and it was just time to move forward and plan the week ahead.  What a day! I've never been through that before and never wish to again.  Today was similar but no where near as bad and I managed to get for an 8 miler even with struggling towards the end with the opposite problem which was also terrifying whilst out running and nowhere to hide eeeekkkk!!!!

The path we choose determines the outcome.  If you want the results and success then it has to be the tough path.  It just has to be!  If you want to become resilient and mentally strong then you need to have been pushed, tested and even broken.  There is no one who can do it for you, you are on your own.  Again, it has be this way to build your inner strength, we can have people help us, guide us, support us but they can't do the 'hard yards' they won't be there at 4.30am saying get up we need to run, they won't be there with their hand on the fridge saying 'no more food you've had enough calories today', they won't be there!!!  You can do it, but its choosing isn't it, its choosing to have a few uncomfortable months to achieve something very few others can do.

Remember your mind is trying to trick you!!! It wants you to fail and give up, it wants an easy life.  Don't listen to it, its lying!!!! 

It's YOU versus YOU!!! Beat the negativity, win the battle :)

 Wow!

10kg lighter and back training well.  What a turn around!!! So So pleased with where I've got myself through sheer relentless discipline, hard work and believing that it will make a difference.  My weight is such a big thing as you may have guessed by now.  Its the psychological impact it has on my drive, resilience and attitude to the training.  I need to see those results and then, I buy in and I'm full on 110%!!

The last few weeks I've really felt the difference, yes my weights come down and my training is feeling really good but fatigue keeps hitting me with the reduction in calories.  There are two ways to deal with this, give in and start eating more to cope with the training and work load or accept it as part of the process and my journey.  Don't get me wrong I understand the need for calories and get the right food in so I'm still careful with what I'm having.

What I'm loving though is that great feeling when I'm running. It's definitely not easy but I'm moving better, it doesn't hurt, and my range of movement is so much greater so I feel I can stride out and put in a good effort. The Yoga is paying off, my ability to move greater as my range of motion is improving.  I'm now back to looking forward to my long runs, and enjoying the suffering again because I know I can cope with it better.  

Getting up in the morning used to be hell, its improved dramatically!! My back is as good as new again as long as I keep up with my exercises and stretches.  My heel get sore now and again but that's a good little reminder not to get complacent and to remember the need to do the basics.  

I truly feel I am getting there, back in to the best shape I've ever been in but there's still some way to go yet.  I'm looking at races I want to enter again that are further or tougher and can only be achieved if I become the best version of me.  Last time I was like this was just after lockdown, I know because I did my best attempt on the 160 that year and felt great and then went on to finish the Lakeland 100.  If, the million dollar question, if, I can get my weight lower and get a bit stronger and keep improving my pace I'll be ok to enter the Hardmoors 200 again.  It is all mindset though, I can't emphasise this enough, yes I have to train hard and do the work others won't do but really its what's going on in your head.  For me personally, as a not so natural runner, I have to believe I can do it.  I accept it's hard only a faint chance I might actually complete it but that's enough to tease me in to the training and becoming able to even have a go.  Then, I have to want it more than all the other things that are associated with comfortable living.  This means, what I eat, am I drinking alcohol, sleeping in (not that I do anyway) and how committed am I to the training, what am I giving up and missing out on to do the necessary things for this event. I get it, most people wouldn't be interested, they might seem keen but not enough to put themselves through months of suffering and staying committed to the goal.  That's the tough bit, and you haven't even started the race at this point!!

I'm finally getting back to giving myself a chance, now its up to me to push on and be in the best physical and mental state I can.  I'm not finishing this race, wherever that might be whether 70 miles, 100 miles or 150 miles without knowing I gave it everything, that I pushed myself beyond, and I tested my resilience to the max.  If I give in now to the small things then I'll be susceptible to giving in before the job is done, and that is unacceptable. The race doesn't start until you want to quit, then its game on!!!

I'm not quite there yet, but I'm in touching distance of achieving my goal! 

I can,

I will!