The Wall (part 5)

Mile 62!!!  Panic over this point in the run had already been sown.  After listening to previous runners telling me this is where they collapsed and fainted, I was incredibly worried by this stage of the run due to my lack of training and ill health before the run.  I had decided this was going to be the telling point, the moment I have to really be on the ball.  I had decided I can't do things like bend down to do shoe laces or getting things from my back pack as this would cause a head rush and would probably faint!  Many songs, many mantra's so many pick me ups rushing through my head now.  The pain was unbearable but I found something that shut it off and prayed for the finish, to end the pain.  The more I look back now, the more I realise how much I actually talked to myself and made myself push through it.  You can, if you want to, I wasn't going to give in just because of a bit of pain.  The only way I was stopping was if injured enough to stop me moving forward, it wasn't going to be that day.  My legs felt strong and my heart stronger, I wanted to break down at times for sure I'm only human, but you stand above it and choose ' Is this where I am going to leave it and be remembered or, actually why I am I even talking like this get on with it and get it damn well finished!!!!'

So after my dark few hours where the questioning and self belief are suffering as well as the body, it was time to do what I kept saying to myself it was time to just get on with it and get it finished.  I wasn't bored, people keep asking me if I got bored and the truth to that was yes but only of the pain.  I was bored of the same pain, it was just relentless I just wanted to it stop.  The answer to that was again just get to the end.  This is how it continued for a few hours but I new I was getting there and I had done it, it was just a matter of crossing the line.  I remember marching down this cycle track in dark, head torch bobbing away and passing a couple who'd obviously been out enjoying themselves as they were staggering around slightly more than me and giggling.  Then I came across this guy with a big hand held torch, so I was a little wary as this was a big torch for walking your dog and besides that it was 1am lol!  He then spoke to me and he turned out to be a marshal from the last check point.  He walked back with me and had a chat before ending the final pit stop where I was able to rest up and have something to eat.  Now this was it mile 62, the dreaded checkpoint, trying to keep my senses about me, not bending to cause a head rush and fainting I just went about my ritual.  Then all of a sudden the medic made a bee line for me and tried getting into conversation with me.  I managed to fend him off and actually had a good chat and a laugh with some of the other runners.  I got myself all set and ready to go but I wanted to wait for some others to head off so I wasn't venturing out on my own and typically getting lost in the final 7 miles.  Nobody was coming and I was growing more and more impatient, so I thought stuff it I'm off!   It was a mind numbing last 7 miles even in the darkness knowing that the sun would be rising shortly, it was basically cycle track all the way into Gateshead or Newcastle to begin with until down by the river quayside, following the path all the way along and under the bridges.  I passed various people, a group of lads on there way home from a nightclub giggling and laughing there heads of 'look look Billy, that blokes got a torch his head he he he' and such like comments, I could only chuckle and have a laugh with them which was fun as in a great deal of pain.  Then passing a few guys fishing, one of them called out to me ' well done mate keep going your nearly there the finish is in Sunderland' to which I laughed and told him 'there's another hundred or so behind me yet'.  This finish was close I just had to cross The Millennium Bridge into Gateshead and the finish was at the end of the bridge.

Crossing the line was just amazing, just a few officials there cheering and clapping which did make a difference so a big thank you to them.   I was sat down and given a drink and a Cadbury's Curly Wurly lol this was brilliant loved it.  Then the photography undid my trainers for me and helped me up for my photograph which I was definitely not in the mood for but I tried and then made my way up to the shuttle bus back to the stadium.

That was it, I'd done it, I'd completed the longest run I have ever done.  Longer than I'd ever dreamed possible and harder than anything else I had ever done physically and mentally.  I made it, I was tested and almost broke but I now know something I didn't before.  I can do it, I can keep moving forward through the pain, and this is invaluable going in to the 100 as confidence is crucial and self belief.  There was no celebration no excited antics as its not job done yet, there's more to this journey.  This was just psychological training and experience gaining.  How Far is too Far, well not 69 miles!!!