Sunday morning came round quick, the plan all week was to get out on The Pennines and recce some of the route for The Spine Challenger in January.  I didnt have the best preparation really as had a bad ankle all week so did no running of sorts just gym work.  I was actually quite excited about getting out there and doing a bit.  I wanted to see what the path was like and how tough this race is going to actually be.  Well I found out, it was horrendous!

I decided I was going to do part of the route from Hebden Bridge, so I found a carpark which was what I thought was near to the path and got myself kitted up and ready.  I was wearing a pair of running tights with another pair of leggings on top, with 4 layers on my top half with hat and gloves.  I had the map at the ready and my phone with the location googled and a map incase i needed it.  I set off in the direction of the Pennine Way all excited enjoying the stunning snowy cold crisp views and being really pleased with myself for actually getting there doing it.  It wasnt far along the road before I came across a signpost pointing in both directions and saying Pennine Way.  Great I'm there!  So I crossed the road and followed this beautiful trail only to discover about 200 yards later that it had taken me back into the town and more or less exactly where I'd started.  So feeling rather frustrated I kept studying the map which I have now decided was utterly useless as didn't show enough detail, I eventually picked a direction to go and decided to ask for help.  I ended up going back up the same road I had originally and apparently it was about 10 minutes walk from there!

Once I had eventually found the trail it was just as I imagined, heading out on to the moors covered in snow with a cold brisk wind sending a chill through your bones.

This path was horrendous, no clear visible route only footprints from the previous people. My feet were sinking the stream like path where the chilling ice cold water seeped into my trainers soaking my feet.  Trying to avoid the deep pools I ventured to the edges of the path stepping and striding over the clumps of snow topped grass.  After about 2 miles my worst nightmare happened, I went over on my ankle 'again!!!!' and yet again it popped with an explosion of pain going on in my ankle.  This was bad, I knew it was'nt going to be an easy walk back to there car it was about 4 miles away, and I was a hobbling wreck!  I was able to walk on it as long it was flat and I could try keep my weight off it.

I eventually made it back to the car, to my relief! Cup of coffee, a bite to eat then off I went back to York.  I had work to get back for which was going to be a challenge in itself.  This overall was a great experience unfortunately it was going to cost me a few weeks and was going to put a halt to my training!

This has been a very tough week.  Never thought I'd admit to missing going for a run as much as this.  I am busting to get out there, but I just don't want to go back a step or two in my recovery.  My ankle and foot is much for the rest and it has definitely done it some good, its not like I havent done any training either.  I have made sure I have worked hard in the gym with strength and conditioning and done my cardio on the bike and stairmaster.  I think also its important to have a little rest from running too so the timing was pretty good all in all.

So where does this leave me now?  With 6 weeks to go till the Spine Challenger I feel my fitness is good but I need to build up some mileage and get out and recce the route a little as panick is setting in regarding the navigation side to the challenge.  The kit I need is also important, deciding on sleeping bags, rucksacks, boots, baselayers, mid layers, jackets, stove's, food, water, checkpoints, crew positions and timings!!1 Its a minefield!

What am I learning about myself?  I think I am starting to understand that I like the fear of the unknown, I love the risk and the challenge of something so rediculous to others.  I love putting myself out there knowing full well the high percentage of failure due to the extreme nature of the challenge.  I am not trying to win, I am not looking for attention, I am not looking for a pat on the back, I am merely doing it because it makes me feel alive.  I love the challenge and the fact that I am taking on challenges and experiences that most people don't even know exist and didn't think people did, as I did, I was one of those people! I love proving you don't have to be in the elite category or superhuman group to achieve great things or complete such extreme challenges.  I love showing my daughter that the only limits or barriers in life are the ones we put up around ourselves and others.  Its almost a protective ring, a comfort blanket to some.

I do question my sanity sometimes, but then I keep seeing the amazing things other people do so I think why not, why not me!

Tough last few days really as been trying to rest my ankle after making the decision it was better to take a few days of impact and running to give it chance to heal properly.  Always a big ask with my work as always on my feet and load bearing.  So what I have been doing instead is almost as good, just not actual running!  Swimming has been my main focus, not being a great swimmer or lover of the water I resisted for a long time to take the plunge!  Not only swimming but I have increased the amount i am doing on the bike and stairmaster, mixing it all up to keep the variety of the workload and to get different forms of workout.  My strength conditioning involves muscle groups instead of just working one muscle as I decided i was just going to bulk up too much and that would mean I'd have to carry more which is not appealing!  The swimming has really taken off, due to my addictive personality type and stubborness i am really starting to feel the benefits.  My upper body strength is increasing because of it, my legs are getting a different kind of workout as it is breast stroke that I am generally doing.  My breathing and cardio seems to be improving because of it too which encourages me to do more.  My addictiveness takes hold when I get to a certain number of lengths say 40, and all i can hear myself saying is 'come on just two more' then i do them and i hear the same voice saying the same thing and before long i have done 50 ha ha!

I am currently trying to get out on The Pennine Way to recce some of the route for The Spine Challenger.  This is proving difficult just with work, family life and injuries.  Each day that passes though I read about others being out there and completing sections of the course and I am now panicking that I havent done enough.  My intentions are clear now, I need to get out there and some of it!  My training needs to alter slightly now and move nearer to pack training and more running over the next 5-6 weeks.

The need to plan is important, but the need to believe is greater!  Self-belief and mental training is crucial now.  The pain game is coming, time to get ready!

Yesterday was a bad day for my training, I had a tennis tournament semi final match where after the first set, which I dropped, I managed to get ahead but in the second game my ankle went.  I heard and felt what I can only describe as a popping noise or sensation.  It isn't really really bad, to the point I couldn't walk or stand on it, but I withdrew and knew it was over.  I wouldn't be able to run for anything or twist and turn, so the sensible decision was to pull out as much as it pained me but I had to.  So straight to the bench with ice pack and elevation, and a quick pint lol! Medicinal purposes only of course!!!

Until yesterday I have been really pleased with my progress, training has gone well and I have noticed the difference.  I went out to Millington last week and did 10 miles on hilly, muddy trails with a minimal pack prob 2.5 to 3kg in weight which was comfortable.  I managed the run in a reasonable time and felt good, no after effects either, no soreness and aching which suggested to myself that I might be getting fitter and more equipped for this event.

I like this because, I have goal that I am trying to achieve and its not a quick process its been long and with still 5 months to go my journey has been a long one.  In that journey I have changed, not only my body, physical capabilities but my attitude and mental strength.  Once I finish the MdS will that be it, goal achieved? Probably not because I am now a different person to the one who started this journey, I have evolved and become a better me.  This journey may never end, but each individual challenge and accomplishment will help me get closer!

I currently feel slightly caught between 'a rock and a hard place'!

This is because my main focus is 'The Marathon de Sables' but in a couple of months I am doing 'The Spine Challenger'.  Both have there own unique requirements, and both are going to be seriously hard.  The intention behind it was to be able to use the challenger as training for the Sahara which is still my view on it. This leaves me in the dilemma of having to start my pack training slightly early and ignore all the comments on starting to early will cause injury.  I agree with this in theory, but in practice as long as you don't over do it and prepare properly it can be used to your advantage.  That's what I am telling myself anyway ha ha!

So, where to now well........

I had a tough weeks training last week that I am really feeling the benefit from, and the effects from!  My training felt great, strength improving, legs feeling lean, running felt great even the waistline was improving.  The tiredness crept up on me, gradually as the week went on, I became more and more tired, heavy legged, stiff joints and motivation waning!

After continuing with my theme of upper body strength, core and various forms of running I decided to up the anti and take it a step further!  This meant bringing out the weighted vest!  This is a 20kg vest, too heavy to run in at the mo but great for on the stairmaster in my opinion, again with the right preparation and previous training its ok if introduced gradually.  In hign sight I would have preferred to have a go with a slightly lighter one first, so I have ordered one.  This can be used for resistance training and slow runs.  The effects were interesting though and makes you realise a few things that are going to occur in the desert.  Strength wise I actually felt good, core and lower back still noticed it slightly and legs were good, but obviously over the training time which was 30 mins they started to feel the work load.  The biggest or greatest effect came from my calves, they didn't struggle but I definitely felt it in them and know that as a result of this short test I want to improve on that.

Where to next ................???

Currently I am preparing for my strength and conditioning session followed by a short run and swim this afternoon before work.  I am hoping during my PT to iron out some definite training plans and make a more scheduled process.  Tomorrow, oh tomorrow!  I can't wait actually, I am planning on heading over to the Yorkshire Dales and doing Pen-y-Ghent one of the Three Peaks.  I want to be at the peak for Sunrise!  I am going to try some kit out but mainly its for the hill work and terrain.

Swimming, this is on my agenda!!!!  I am rubbish at it but my goal is to use learning to be a better swimmer as part of my training.  Learn something new as it incentivises you and motivates you in ways you can't normally!