So Roseberry Topping revisited, 3rd year in a row and loved it just as much as the first. Although the first time was my trail running initiation and it has a lot to answer for ha ha!  Brilliant day, such a beautiful location, with the glistening sparkles of the snow topped Moors and the sun shining down on us to make a glorious day.  If we weren't wading through the mud we were crunching through the icy snow, slipping and sliding our way round, or was that just Darren!

Off we went bright and early on a fresh Sunday morning in December, heading off from David Lloyd's in York.  I picked Darren up and his mate Fabian and we headed off on our mini adventure.  Full of excitement, enthusiasm and a few nerves.  Fabian was slightly apprehensive as it was his first official race and even more so as a Hardmoors event, which maybe sounds tough in its name, but also by the time Darren and myself had built it up and reminisced on various brutal aspects of this run he was nearly white with fear ha ha!  So as normal I was completely convinced I could remember my way to Guisbrough, how hard can it be!  After driving for nearly an hour I was beginning to doubt my navigational knowledge especially when Darren asked if we were supposed to be driving into Middlesborough, ooops!  So we got back on track with a well known device on Darren's phone and managed to get ourselves in to Guisborough,  listening to Darren give a very detailed on route tour description of nearly every street and major building, followed by 'my parents live over there' and 'we used to bike round here'.  At which point Fabian and myself then had to question how we managed to get the journey so wrong ha ha!

After setting off together and enjoying a spectacular day the route took us up some fairly treacherous banks and muddy paths but we had a great time, the camaraderie on these runs is just brilliant whether in first place or last your treated the same, not that I have ever been in first and most definitely have enjoyed most events from the back, but I am making that assumption.  Everyone has such a friendly and encouraging nature and everyone just wants each person to succeed and finish that race whatever there reasons for being there its very much a team effort.  That's how it feels anyway and I liked to believe that is how it is.  We had a few funny moments, well quite a lot actually, there were moments when I couldn't decide what hurt the most my legs from the ascents or my stomach muscles from all the laughing ha ha!  We battled round, all having times of struggle and times of energetic spurts but we all finished together which was good although I did feel I held the other two back slightly but I didn't them racing off into the distance they allowed me to keep catching them up.

The journey home was fun, although I think Fabian was almost asleep by the time we got back and Darren couldn't move ha ha! Me, well I had to go to work, and then I managed a celebratory pint.  Great day, I never get bored of this kind of running, so when someone says to me they get bored or ask 'isn't it boring?'  I say no its amazing because I get days like this to remember for ever!

The disappointment of not being able to get to the start line of any run hurts me plenty, I hate it, its a lost opportunity to do what I love!  I entered a race recently called the Maravan which was a 6 hour run around a caravan park which at first didn't seem that appealing but the more I talked about it the keener I got lol!  I got to the day before and things were not right my heal and calf were not as good as I wanted and as much as I wanted to go and do this I knew it wasn't right. Devastated, pulling out of any race hurts, its like failing but I knew I was right to do it.

I have though, since the Maravan, been out and training.  Its great I love it the buzz was back, I kept it to short but regular runs with gym work.  It was paying off I felt like I was back in the game.  My entry to the Hardmoors Triple Ring Challenge had been accepted, which meant HM110 in April is a go!  In the same week my entry for the Marathon de Sables across the Sahara Desert was accepted and confirmation of place was sent.  So I was on a high, loving it, bouncing around like a kid at Christmas.  This was my dream, this is how it started, this had been the end goal...I am nearly there!

Frostbite 30 was on but this week I have had so much bother with my hip its been agonising, and as normal I have persisted through it and believed right to the end that I will run.  I can't, I can't start the race knowing that once it seizes up I will be in bother.  If i am stuck on the Dales in pain and freezing then I will look back and think how stupid when I have had the warning signs.  I hate it, but I can't go its just about being realistic, its my work and future that I jeopardise and my long term goal of the MdS.

On the bright side I might be OK for Hardmoors Roseberry Topping next Sunday ha ha! Lets get ready for that.

Another couple of weeks have passed and my heel is still niggling me but its much better, manageable I would say.  This being, stretching whenever possible and keeping it regular, foam rolling calves, mobilisation stretches for the ankle as its seems to be affecting it now make it feel a bit tight.  I have also been having regular massages which definitely help as always feels great after them.

Last week I managed to start getting a little consistency in my runs, almost getting out every other day with some gym work in between which helps.  I have started doing some ankle strengthening work, heel raisers, single leg squats and balance board work which all definitely make a difference.  I will be attending my Body Balance class today also as been having some soreness in my hips and IT band area which is making my back twitch a bit so Body Balance helps with that as always feel the benefit after although utterly useless at the time ha ha!

I was meant to be out on Sunday running the 'Maravan' in Cleethorpes which is a marathon running round a caravan park which I thought would be fun, in a weird way!  My body was aching all over and I really didn't feel up to it so I made the decision that by running I would be only making problems worse.  I would rather wait till the 'Frostbite 30' in December then Roseberry Topping again.  This are my end of year goals, so would have been silly to jeopardise them.  Really happy now I am able to get out running and do some training, I felt the difference with losing a bit of weight, it makes you feel better instantly and gives you that boost you need sometimes.  The form is filled in and is being posted today for the HM110 which is scary, I have resisted posting it off up till now as wanted to be sure I am going to be ok to train for it and ultimately complete it.

I hope once I have done it, assuming I do, that I don't lose that desire to want to do more.  I think the real challenge is in keeping motivated therefore challenging yourself further again.  Which is lucky as I have found some great runs and adventures to keep me busy for about the next 20 years ha  ha!

What do you do to keep your motivation?

It's been a while I here you saying!  Yes yes I know but I don't want to seem like I go on and on about the same stuff all the time.  Fresh, exciting, fun, interesting and just a little crazy at times, no that's just me ha ha!  Ok back to it, what have been up to.  Well after my long break in the summer due to injury which to be honest is much better but still slightly there, I have begun  the slow process of starting the training again.  I have eased my way back in to re-introduce my body to my demanding schedule which isn't just the running and gym work its my job of coaching tennis too.

I began a few weeks ago with a few light runs to test the heel and practise running in my new beasts 'The Hoka' trainers.  Now I say practise which means get used to, and I will explain why!  I think in an earlier post I explained about the difference in the shoe and why I was giving them a go, the raised heel, the extra cushioning and support etc etc.  Well that's all well and good but these bad boys are big they make me that much taller, which is ace I love it, but the problem is when I am running.  I set off ok bouncing down the street and suddenly after a short while I scuff my feet repeatedly for some unknown reason and then almost barring a uniquely styled out save, I trip over my own feet!!! Then I remember I'm wearing short ski boots lol!  So then I spend the rest of my run over-lifting my feet as if running on malton lava!   Any way moving along from my daft running technique,  a few runs in and yes I had a marathon to prepare for.  So I had literally given myself two weeks of prep for York Marathon, crazy!  It was  great I didn't set any speed records fast or slow ones but I had a great time and achieved my goal......to be no more injured than when I started.  Mission accomplished and the heel survived.  This was brilliant, I now new I could slowly get back to it and start booking in some more adventures and prepare myself for the Hardmoors 110 next April, oh yes the challenge is back on!!!!!

100 miles and beyond!
What are you going to do today to push your limits!

Its been a good week regarding the previous injury.  This means it feel like it is almost fully recovered although it does just let me know every now and again that its there.  So its important even now that I keep up my routines for stretching and supporting it as much as I can.  Love the feeling of planning the new challenges and what training I will need to do, motivation brings it all together perfectly!

Today brought back another element of my training that I dropped off while the heel was bad due it making it hurt, this is the one and only 'Body Balance' great title, so inappropriate for me lol!  So back to the old habits I met with John who also hasn't been going very much and we had our pre-class routine of stretching, chatting and laughing at how rubbish we were at the class.  I moved in to the studio in like a stealth move so as to reclaim our spots at the back of the class.  It was a new routine but I was equally as bad it as before but feel the benefits, its great for an hours stretching and brilliant for all my faults. It looked like we were trying to stand up whilst someone was rolling millions of marbles underneath us we were that bad! Balancing is one thing but having to then stretch out and bend my arm in a certain direction whilst looking up to the ceiling was not easy at all.  My lack of flexibility restrains me a little some what in the session but hopefully over time that will improve by doing it.  I came out of it and had to rush on to the tennis court as I had a lesson immediately after, but instantly I could feel it in my quads, hips and back so I new it was doing me good.  I hope....

Gentle run tomorrow as still haven't got rid of this cold as have a sore throat now eek! Then hopefully a bit longer on Wednesday, and then a few days rest before marathon day.  I'm going to be a mess, hobbling like Quasimodo dragging my left foot, slumped over as my back will probably be bad and looking like a Zombie no doubt.  Quite excited actually!

So with only 2 weeks to go till the York Marathon I decided I'd better increase the mileage and see how my recovering heel coped.  I packed up the rucksack with plenty of fluid as it was a beautiful sunny day and I was heading out in the peak of it.  Preparation routine now, warming up and some dynamic stretches obviously protecting my heel whilst exposing it to the rigours of running.  I began with a walk, mainly to wait for satellite connection for my watch which always seems to take an age and at the same time more prep for the heel.  Off I went with the sole purpose of just getting some time on my feet with the knowledge I can be out for a good couple of hours I had to make use of it.  I decided that I was doing the 15 mile route and that I was going to stop a couple of times just to get a drink and have a mid run stretch.  This I think is important, no point killing myself just to do the miles without looking after myself, so hydration and stretching was key.  Great run in the sunshine, sweating buckets but all good as finally felt like I was back to doing the stuff I enjoy and it felt great to just be heading off for a few hours with no cares.

I got back nearly 2 and half hours later, fairly knackered but legs felt strong and my heel was only slightly sore but ok.  More stretching once I got in and I used the power plates which again I'm not sure of the benefits but I think they help and that's enough as this is a psychological battle now. I stiffened up a bit afterwards but not to the point that I was panicking that I wasn't fit enough or could handle a further run which is the plan on Wednesday.  I hobbled off home but again it eased as I moved again, with the full intention of icing once I got home.  Great sleep which I have missed and not much discomfort in the morning, a few tight areas but ok after a bit of stretching and care.  Bring on Wednesdays adventure!

So after going against my instincts of keep resting 'its still sore', I convinced myself to do a bit more, a bit more than 2 miles wouldn't be hard but its enough at the moment to determine if running was still a problem.  I managed 4.5 miles and it felt great, especially now I had my new Hoka's which are like running on sponges with the feeling I used to get as a kid with Roller boots on, like I was much taller.  Finally 6ft 2, love it!!  Honestly though they made a massive difference, with them, the compression sock and massaging the foot we were on to a winner.  As great as it was to be out running again it was hard, I was over heating and sweating rediculous amounts like Niagra Falls and panting breathlessly like I'd just run up Everest! My feet felt heavy like I was running in treacle, my feet got heavier and heavier.  Trying out some new kit, as starting to prepare for the Marathon de Sables, long way off in theory 2017 but when I look at what I have planned for next year and think about how bloody fast this has flown by I need to start preparing.  As this is it, the original end goal, the Sahara!

BOOOOOOM! I'm off, yippee at last. Well I decided that it was time to start doing a bit of training as the heel now was only causing slight discomfort and soreness on long working days, as I'm a tennis coach that can make it a very tough day.  So after plenty of warming up and stretches it felt great to get the running kit back on and more importantly I got to use my new toy the Garmin Fenix 2 watch ha ha! This watch has been selected due to its extraordinarily long battery life which is what I now wanted.  So thanks to the world of ebay I succeeded in winning one, and then had to pay for it oouuch!  Off I went once I'd finally got the dam watch working and heart rate monitor on and gps working, a slight jog down the road not wanting to go crazy on my first run back.  My heel was still letting me know it still wasn't quite right but it warmed up as I went. Struggling round the massive 2.16 mile loop, yes don't forget the .16 its very important to me lol. I felt awful, my legs felt sapped, out of breath and panting, and a general feeling of being over weight.....yes more than normal before anyone else chips in ha ha!  This feeling though was overridden with the absolute joy of being back out there, remembering why I like running, it was great.  Unfortunately it was just a bit rubbish fitness wise, which will get better I know once in training mode.

The next day...... I was expecting to be, not in agony, but slightly sore again and unable to put my heel down with any confidence that its not going to hurt.  I was amazed, what a great day this was going to be, no pain, no soreness and the ability to walk normally with no discomfort.  I couldn't believe it since I'd been for my first run in months.  That was it plans were a foot, excuse the pun, this was me back up and running again.  The game is on!

No I haven't fallen off the end of the World!  Just had nothing to report or talk about due to this injury in my heel.  I have abstained from any running to really try and give it some proper rest, but due to my line of work it is a long slow process.  So having subscribed myself to compression sock during the day, rolling a massage ball across my foot in the morning and using a stretching dome and then a ridiculous boot for during the night which maintains the stretch.  I am now off work and really able to rest it probably if that is possible.  I had intended running the York marathon in October and still hoping to drag myself round this if possible and back to the good stuff, Hardmoors, Roseberry Topping booked in for December in preparation for the New Years Day 30 which I really want to do, then the 55 in March leading up to the big challenge of the Hardmoors 110 in May.  Can't wait, the more I don't run the more I want to and get excited about the prospect of future runs and challenges!

As a bit of good training whilst not running I signed myself up for the York100 Sportive bike ride.  I ventured out with Dave 'The Ginger Ninja' Goulstone thinking we could have a good tootle round trying to keep a good pace up.  We had previously been out a few times, not nearly enough in retrospect, thinking we'd be fine ha ha! Oh no that was our first mistake!!!  So we met up on the morning of the ride after my level of preparation was minimal, after writing a short list to go to the bike shop and buy some essential kit like a spare inner tube, gloves, drink bottle holder etc etc er I didn't manage to go in the end....mistake number two!  I met up with Dave who was already claiming he had done an extra two miles just getting to me snore snore snore!  We cycled round to the registration point signed a few disclaimers grabbed my chip and number and off we set to the start line wahoooo!

So off we went with the elite ha ha just so we had the most time possible to finish!  Then spent the next few hours being constantly over taking by the masses and feeling distinctly under trained.  By this point we were approaching the first of the tough hills and the panic started settling in, up we went and wow did we know about it.  After pushing myself to just past half way my legs were building up rapidly with lactic acid and my chest was pounding to the point where I thought it was going to explode.  Dave had already pulled over and gasping for air and contemplating getting back on, I then too had too pull over to the verge before I had a coronary!  This was generally the theme through out the rest of our journey, slogging it out on the uphills and then pushing ourselves on the flats which after a while felt just as hard.  We made to the check points and made full use of them as was either gasping for a drink or starving, nothing new there I here you say! So we battled on thinking we were doing ok yet felt we were constantly being over taking until we got to certain point when I said to Dave ' thats it there can't be any one left to over take us'  ha ha which looking back I don't think there was since we manage to come in exactly last at 9 hours 13 mins.  We were just pleased to actually get round it and finish, It was a great day and served its purpose to me which was to maintain some training.

So now its a waiting game, I have a few things lined up i.e. foot specialists and Sports Massage Therapy but time is the game!

Its now all about preparation for the 110 and start the process for Marathon de Sables 2017.  I haven't let it slip but very difficult mentally when your not able to even train doing at what you need to be doing.  Keeping the vision and dream and remembering what the goal was and still is!

So whats been happening!

Well, since Hadrians Wall adventure I have been suffering from this damn heel problem.  I have rested, stretched, manipulated, taped, iced and now have moved on to compression sock and I have a boot coming to sleep in at night.  Its not good, but its going to get better that's for sure or my red wine bill is going to increase rapidly!

So after a few gentle runs around the field, thinking soft ground for a bit of cushioning and then a few runs with ginger ninja I thought I was there.  After receiving a text from the speed demon Princess reminding me that I had entered Leeds 10k by accident but was actually in it.  This turned out ok actually as thought time to do a bit more than the field so planned to do it.  The run went well, just as hard as any other run I have done don't care what any one says its about what your expectations and planning are like.  I pushed harder than I have run for a while and crossed the finish line half throwing up.  This has baffled me but have decided its because you prepare your mind, body and soul for the distance your going to run whether 5k, 10k, 26.2 Miles or 69 miles, not matter what your history.  It was horrible, same time as always, kept it under the hour so was happy.  Such a boring run though so will never do that one again.  The princess sprinted round a massive 5 mins faster than me, so nearly caught her so I wasn't that bad actually!  I was then done, the next day my heel was swollen and very sore, after a quick visit to my friend Janet at MI Pilate's she gave me a few stretches and routines to do and a massage ball.  These helped a lot, alongside rest and a few massages from Epoc Coaching.  I have now been pushing the massages as realised how beneficial they were every time I seemed to be so much better in the after period.  So my intention was 3 a week for a short period of time to really go for it and resolve this injury.

So training wise what have I been doing?  Well I set myself a few challenges in the gym, nothing major but just making myself use the bike and the cross trainer.  I then dug the bike out of the shed, well this has been like unleashing a monster ha ha! Love it!  I went out early doors on Sunday at 6.30am with 'The Ginger Ninja' and managed a good 35 miles which was approximately 15 miles more than previously done but no where the 100 we will have to do in 3 weeks. The training is good my legs felt great after it, not sure if will say that after a 100 but already lining up what we could do that's bigger than that ha ha!  I got home and more or less fell off the bike, likes were a bit wobbly and my backside was killing so you can just imagine the walk I looked like I didn't have knees!  It is definitely the new addiction but I haven't finished with my running yet I just have a new adventure to find!

The Wall (part 5)

Mile 62!!!  Panic over this point in the run had already been sown.  After listening to previous runners telling me this is where they collapsed and fainted, I was incredibly worried by this stage of the run due to my lack of training and ill health before the run.  I had decided this was going to be the telling point, the moment I have to really be on the ball.  I had decided I can't do things like bend down to do shoe laces or getting things from my back pack as this would cause a head rush and would probably faint!  Many songs, many mantra's so many pick me ups rushing through my head now.  The pain was unbearable but I found something that shut it off and prayed for the finish, to end the pain.  The more I look back now, the more I realise how much I actually talked to myself and made myself push through it.  You can, if you want to, I wasn't going to give in just because of a bit of pain.  The only way I was stopping was if injured enough to stop me moving forward, it wasn't going to be that day.  My legs felt strong and my heart stronger, I wanted to break down at times for sure I'm only human, but you stand above it and choose ' Is this where I am going to leave it and be remembered or, actually why I am I even talking like this get on with it and get it damn well finished!!!!'

So after my dark few hours where the questioning and self belief are suffering as well as the body, it was time to do what I kept saying to myself it was time to just get on with it and get it finished.  I wasn't bored, people keep asking me if I got bored and the truth to that was yes but only of the pain.  I was bored of the same pain, it was just relentless I just wanted to it stop.  The answer to that was again just get to the end.  This is how it continued for a few hours but I new I was getting there and I had done it, it was just a matter of crossing the line.  I remember marching down this cycle track in dark, head torch bobbing away and passing a couple who'd obviously been out enjoying themselves as they were staggering around slightly more than me and giggling.  Then I came across this guy with a big hand held torch, so I was a little wary as this was a big torch for walking your dog and besides that it was 1am lol!  He then spoke to me and he turned out to be a marshal from the last check point.  He walked back with me and had a chat before ending the final pit stop where I was able to rest up and have something to eat.  Now this was it mile 62, the dreaded checkpoint, trying to keep my senses about me, not bending to cause a head rush and fainting I just went about my ritual.  Then all of a sudden the medic made a bee line for me and tried getting into conversation with me.  I managed to fend him off and actually had a good chat and a laugh with some of the other runners.  I got myself all set and ready to go but I wanted to wait for some others to head off so I wasn't venturing out on my own and typically getting lost in the final 7 miles.  Nobody was coming and I was growing more and more impatient, so I thought stuff it I'm off!   It was a mind numbing last 7 miles even in the darkness knowing that the sun would be rising shortly, it was basically cycle track all the way into Gateshead or Newcastle to begin with until down by the river quayside, following the path all the way along and under the bridges.  I passed various people, a group of lads on there way home from a nightclub giggling and laughing there heads of 'look look Billy, that blokes got a torch his head he he he' and such like comments, I could only chuckle and have a laugh with them which was fun as in a great deal of pain.  Then passing a few guys fishing, one of them called out to me ' well done mate keep going your nearly there the finish is in Sunderland' to which I laughed and told him 'there's another hundred or so behind me yet'.  This finish was close I just had to cross The Millennium Bridge into Gateshead and the finish was at the end of the bridge.

Crossing the line was just amazing, just a few officials there cheering and clapping which did make a difference so a big thank you to them.   I was sat down and given a drink and a Cadbury's Curly Wurly lol this was brilliant loved it.  Then the photography undid my trainers for me and helped me up for my photograph which I was definitely not in the mood for but I tried and then made my way up to the shuttle bus back to the stadium.

That was it, I'd done it, I'd completed the longest run I have ever done.  Longer than I'd ever dreamed possible and harder than anything else I had ever done physically and mentally.  I made it, I was tested and almost broke but I now know something I didn't before.  I can do it, I can keep moving forward through the pain, and this is invaluable going in to the 100 as confidence is crucial and self belief.  There was no celebration no excited antics as its not job done yet, there's more to this journey.  This was just psychological training and experience gaining.  How Far is too Far, well not 69 miles!!!

Its been a week, so the decision was made to get out for a little run.  My feet had recovered sufficiently and my legs were feeling good.  I took on board my mistakes after the Hardmoors 55 and went up stairs into the gym first and warmed up on the bike for 5 minutes and then a few stretches.  I wasn't interested in doing too much so just decided to run around the field for a bit incorporating a run and walk technique.  This was purely to just get back to it but in such a fashion to almost re-introduce my feet and legs to the kind of flexion and stresses that are required.  It felt great actually so really pleased I didn't push it, my previous injury in my heel or plantar fascia feel better than before attempting the The Wall so that was even better news and all the more reason not to go at it too much.

The Wall (part 4)

So after dragging myself round the first half which in there eyes was 32 miles which was a great Pit Stop where everyone was stopping and getting there feet dealt with and changing items of clothing and stocking up on food and drink for the next section of the run.  I didn't want to hang around too long as makes me feel worse, legs get tight, feet become sore and I feel like I'm losing valuable time.  So after stocking up and a brief rest off I went.  Coming out of Vindalonda Pit Stop we went into a bit of a hill which in Hardmoors terms it wasn't even a hill but it was a welcome change and actually took the strain from my hip flexors and loosened them up a bit which was well received.  This gave me a little boost powering down the road to now what was the next target the Pit Stop at 44 miles, there was a water station before then but the 44 mile mark was significant as meant only 25 miles to go which normally would sound ridiculous but on this day it made good listening.  I met up with various people along this section of the route and even pulled over to the verge at one point where another runner was just tending to his badly blistered feet and I'd thought 'I should be doing that' as had felt a soreness in the middle of my foot and I know the rules of 'deal with it as soon as you feel it'.  So there we were sat down trainers off in the lovely sunshine looking out over the hills it was superb and I could have stayed there to be honest.  We got patched up and went on together, had a bit of a chat as you do about how we'd done the bulk of it now and just needed to get into finishing mode.  This lad was really starting to struggle so I stayed with him till the next check point and left him to tend to more wounds.

At this point I was still trying to do a bit of running but my heel wasn't allowing it.  I would run for about 25 yards then get a pain going up my heel which I decided wasn't worth putting through the mill, instead to push on in what I can only describe as my 'Power Walking phase'.  This was where I would be walking and a good pace almost fast marching really, I really got into a good rhythm using my arms in this kind of swinging method that really helped.  To break up the monotony of this form of walking I'd have to go into again what I decided to call 'The Trophy' walk, now I spent a long time thinking about this trust me.  Hands on the hips head up and back straight trying to relieve areas that were in pain.  I would then break into a little trot before the pain became too much then move straight into the arm swinging march and then in to trophy pose for rest interval.  This is how I carried on for about the next 15 miles, which is a long long time!

By now the the roads and cycle tracks were really taking there toll on my battered feet I could really feel some considerable pain coming up my legs and tightening my calves and hamstrings, I new this was going to make for a very painful last 25 miles.  The rucksack was really causing all sorts of problems in my shoulders but this seemed to not bother me due to the pain in my feet. The power and strength of the mind now became crucial, as different methods of over coming pain and self doubt were going to be needed.  The pain causes you to have negative times mentally, so the only way to stop the negativity is to stop it at the root of the problem, the pain.  I had to keep convincing myself that yes my feet hurt but no more than they did 20 odd miles ago or 5 hours plus ago and this should not be a reason for me to be moaning to myself about it.  They brain was obviously sensing trauma and was starting to use methods against its own body to make it stop.  I tried to shut off the pain in my feet, i wasn't going to allow that to be the thing that stopped me as that wasn't good enough.  Breathing techniques were brought it again to change things and give me focus away from my feet.  Positivity is paramount, belief that you are going to get to the end and you will finish no matter what. Then it becomes desire to just get to the end, I just wanted the pain to stop, which unfortunately I convinced myself this would happen if I could just get myself to the finish line.

After numerous hours of self-talk and positive reinforcement and mind numbing conversations with myself I realised I had given  myself false hope, because the it dawned on me that I may well finish the race and the relief that brings is immense but the actual pain I am feeling and going through won't stop ha ha!  It will all carry on hurting, not just for a little bit longer but probably for a couple of days.  This actually didn't dishearten me, it made my chuckle because I'd been holding on to this ideal out come that the sooner I finish the sooner the pain will stop and it was a load of rubbish.  It had kept me going for a good 10 miles though so job done!

The Wall (part 3)

So after being advised not to run too fast over the cobbles coming out of the Castle as the may be slippy, I started off in may very familiar slow chug run.  As I was aware I hadn't trained sufficiently and been injured and overcome with a cold all the previous week I was just wanting a steady start.  Its easy to get dragged along at other peoples paces but from everything I have read it is very important to always remember its about you, its your race, you don't know anything about them or there history or why they are there.  Always run your own race massive bit of knowledge this as easy to burn yourself out going along with others as seems like a good idea at the time.  I was more interested in the fact I had my trainers on from York Marathon 2013, why, oh why, did I think this was going to be a good idea.  Then I had a compression top on and my waterproof, again this at the time was good to stay dry but wow it was warm.  I set off with the pain instant in my heel just letting me know its not actually recovered and I was a fool for trying to run 69 miles on it.  The in-house argument had already begun and I wasn't even at the delerias stage!

I don't actually remember too much from the beginning apart from the weather being a thin fog like rain which in my opinion was perfect we were still able to get a bit of a view so was ok.  Even by mile one my rucsack was really annoying me.  I just kept repeating to myself, ' when this bloody run is done I'm getting a new backpack or hydration pack' it was slipping down my left shoulder constantly. My thoughts were, if this is annoying me now whats it going to be like 50 miles in!  So the strap got tightened and I tucked some of waterproof under it, this later on would prove detrimental. We were running on the road the majority of the time which was really getting to my hips due to the impact, the soreness at the front just kept increasing as the time ticked away.  My hip flexors were really suffering, which actually diverted the pain from my feet at the time and gave me something else to think about.  We passed through a few trails which I was very pleased of as thought might relieve the hips, but if anything did it was the occasional uphill, I know I know, uphill is he having a laugh, it relieved the hips as started using a different muscle group.  Any way 15 miles I remember asking the next runner who was passing through a stile after me if they had seen 'The Wall' yet and they replied with a comprehensive 'NO', at least I was still alert then as I hadn't either.

After running into the first major checkpoint which on this run was call a 'Pitstop' I was able to refuel and get myself together.  My temperature had been going up and down like a yo yo so I was panicking that my internal temperature or cooling system was still affected from my cold therefore causing all sorts of problems over the next 18 hours of trauma to the body.  The sandwiches were very welcome as it was mid morning and I was starving, the greatest thing was the cut up oranges they were amazing and very addictive.  They were also offering Redbull so I was hoping it would give me wings as in the advert but not sure on that one ha ha!  Off I went sandwich in hand with sweets and a drink to consume slowly, but after seeing everyone else sat down having a picnic I just felt it was prudent to keep going and get the miles in the bank.  I soon met up with my next friend who I don't know his name but was a great guy very interesting.  He was 60 years old and had run this last year, he'd also run the Marathon de Sables in 2006 which I was just in awe of, but he continued to say how last year he'd managed to get to mile 62 checkpoint then collapsed and fainted after which he was pulled out of the race.  This was the second person that had said this as Mark on the train did exactly the same. I moved on and left him eating his sandwiches but this left me in a real quandrie as now I was panicking at either something at mile 62 or was it that bad getting there!  The game was on, and I was in the thick of it............

The Wall (Part 2)

Beep beep beep! Not that I needed it as didn't really sleep that well, I wasn't apprehensive I just couldn't sleep.  Its 5am and its time to get myself sorted, ready for action, pumped up or maybe a good time to finish packing my pack.  So for breakfast I indulged in pot of porridge that I brought with me and a banana. I decided I didn't want to eat too much as didn't want to be bloated but I needed enough to get me through the first couple of hours really.  All packed and bouncing down the road getting ready for my epic adventure across Hadrians Wall.  Passing all the early workers and shop owners who were preparing for there day ahead and heading towards the castle with what felt like nearly everyone else, it was like the gathering, drawn to the Castle by some great power!  Then I woke up ha ha! Only kidding.  Once I had walked through the town and had the Castle in my sights I dropped off my finish bag with the lorry that transported them for us and made my way to the start.  The start was in the center of the Castle with a massive inflated start barrier to run under and what I can only describe as a 'Pen' for the runners.  We were advised to cross the mat to allow the chip timer to register then await the race brief.  By now the rain had started, a thin drizzlie kind of rain which was more just annoying than getting you soaked through.  We were given all the health and safety points for the race and the check point descriptions and told there were over five hundred arrows out there for us to follow which was slightly more reassuring, even I couldn't get lost ha ha ha!.  Then to the big moment 3.......2........1....... Rat Racers GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Wall (part 1)
Three days on and I am actually feeling quite good, can't believe my recovery rate after 'The Wall'!   Now its been sometime that I have updated this blog and I will explain why, 3 reasons really, firstly injury prevented me from doing any really training as tried to preserve myself as best I could just to get to the start line, then two I got a virus on the laptop so couldnt do anything with it and three today really I could'nt workout how to get back into my account ha ha!  Yes yes, its been said already, I know I am not good with computers but it was'nt obvious so took a while!

Back to the main event 'The Wall', since the longest run I did in training was 8 miles accompanied with a few short 3-5 milers with 'The Ginger Ninja'.  I managed the gym several times with Epoc Coaching and worked a specific aspects of my training such as the strength of my Hamstrings and Quads, keeping my upper body strong too alongside the flexibility and mobility.  Coming into the race I wasn't ready fact, I was ill the week before which really put the dampner on the whole thing as felt rubbish all the way up to the start line.

Where did this journey begin, York at 1pm Friday 19th, just finished and packing the car with my stuff already for off.  Backwards and forwards from the car to the house, remembering last minute things that I might need, but won't need, just pre-race panicking as normal.  I finally get out on the road heading up to Gateshead this is where it all started.  I turned up at The National Athletics Stadium and parked the car in a mass panick as per normal in true EBW form I was running it to the wire! Grabbed all my bags and stuff I needed, locked the car, and ran.  Off out on to the ring road in Gateshead, mmm now where ooops!  Head for the bridge my Dad said as the station is just after it, so using my limited technology knowledge I googled it and I was 2 kilometers away, well you can imagine the colourfull words that oused out of my mouth.  So I ran in the direction of the bridge eventually finding it and continuing on to the station, hopefully in time.  Next train to Carlisle 17.54 ok cool, what time is it now, 17.53 ooops again!  Ticket, how and where do I get a ticket, 'quick run to that machine I was screaming at myself'.  So as I'm about to take my turn I hear this voice behind me ' The Wall', I turn and utter 'er yeah' and he said 'yep me too so hurry up' ha ha!  We both ended up running over the bridge to platform 6 ready for the train just pulling in.  This was brilliant timing I have to say, so Mark my new buddy and myself got ourselves aquainted and settled on the beginning of our journey.

Apon arrival in Carlisle we met another adventurous type looking for knowledge that he was going to be ok and off we went.  Like the Three Musketeers heading off into the distance, well towards The Castle for registration.  This was an odd experience, as previous to this day I had been having numerous conversations on social media regarding the mandatory kit list and what was required to the law.  Filled in and signed my disclaimer, basically saying that I was insane but its ok as I know as I have signed the document and then collected my race number and baggage numbers.  I was then directed to another desk where I collected my 'Rat Race' buff which was pink so that got an instant dislike and became Olivia's (my 8 yr old daughter) there and then, and my technical shirt which we decided I was a large in (again later became aware this must have been a childs one or an XXS) so all in all I wasn't that impressed with my race goodies, hey at least the whistle works toot toot!!!

Off I trot all signed in and with all my identification and numbers ready to go.  I bundled my way through Carlisle trying to find some clues to where my B&B was.  I eventually found it after, yes you guest it using my phone's magic.  I logged in and settled for the evening with a bit of food, lemsips and TV.  My preparation is some of the best, always learning thats the key! ha ha

Well, where do I start ha ha!  Its been a really tough last 6 weeks knowing that my next big run is not far away and I'm hampered by injury.  I've tried to work as hard at my recovery as I would at my training, by taking any advice seriously and spending time at what I've needed to do.  Thankfully I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.  So in my time off from running I have missed Kielder 30 miler which gutted me to be honest but I new if I'd have gone and done it then the recovery was going to be even longer and I may have made it much worse.  I rested and did light gym work but no running.  Leeds Half Marathon came and went, I was even closer to where I am now with feeling good and able to run but still have that slight apprehensive approach to any form of sport as can still feel a slight pain in my heel.  So the decision so far has been not to attempt anything and I feel that this has allowed me a quicker recovery. All I hear from people regarding 'Plantar Fascitis' is how long it takes to get rid of, and how that's it now it'll be injury after injury.  What a load of twaddle, look after yourself, do what your told by the people who know, and rest.  Its an injury like everything else it needs time to mend and then it needs time to learn how to work properly again!  Trust in common sense and do the obvious but actually do it, not pretend to do it or just say you've done it. Anyway preaching over ha ha!

Where to now, its going to be a long hard slog up to 'The Wall' but self belief is important now and a strong mental attitude is key to the success of this challenge.  I have set my sights on running a 100 miles and there is no way in that journey that I am not going to have set backs so its just learning important lessons along the way and learning how to deal with them to make me stronger!

Last week I started putting things back together, routines, planning, gym work and motivation.  Each of these things being key areas to the success of the journey.  I went out for a gentle run around the field covering about 5k which was enough, soft ground to help the injured foot and soft re-introduction to running again.  Success! It felt fine the next day, what I mean is, it didn't feel any worse and this is a positive as it means it is healing.  Over the course of the week I had a PT session which was great, really starting to develop better posture and core which in turn has improved my balance and flexibility.  Also playing a few tennis matches really let me start feeling like I had turned a corner as this would have undoubtedly put pressure on the sore area when loading and pushing off.  This all brings me to the start of this week which I felt the real start to being back in the game.  I headed to Body Balance in the morning to get some essential stretching in and again to really get routine back  As per normal I was utterly useless at it although John my friend wasn't there to make me look slightly better, sorry John.  So Kasia made a bee line for me spotting all my failings and lack of balance!  'Bend your leg more Ed!', 'Hold your balance Ed!', 'Come on Ed keep your legs straight and just above the floor!' and so it continued, where was John, thats all I kept thinking.  When will it end.....

That evening I had arrange a run with Dave thats 'Ginger Dave'.  So off we went all in good spirits really pleased to be back out and running again, beginning to get some miles under my belt.  First comment Dave comes out with is 'so how far we going then? as still have a tight calf so not far yeah?' me ' yeah me too, lets just do a couple of miles and have a stretch out'.  Brilliant, loved it, funny funny!  Half way way round Dave cherps up with ' so how far we going?? Because I reckon we've already done about 3 miles!!!'  Think we were out for about an hour so 10k ish which was perfect for both of us he just didn't know it!

Very frustrating period at the moment and not much to report really.  The training has taken a bit of a set back due to this bruised heel I am suffering from which is thought to be 'Plantar Fasciatis'.  Many different ideas on how to treat yet no curable method except 'rest'!  Not possible in my line of work so constant stretching and the use of rock tape and a massage ball.  I was signed up to do Kielder this Sunday which would have been 30 miles of suffering I think and then the inevitable week of hobbling and regret. So since I am a year older and wiser I have decided to listen to the voice on my shoulder telling me 'don't do it!!' its tough since the voice on the other shoulder is saying 'you'll be fine, you'll love it of course you want to do it!!' Aaaarrrgghhh! It was a fight initially but as the great Highlander once said 'there can be only ONE!'  So I have decided to pull out and take the time off to recover properly so can get on with training for The Wall.

I have been keeping up with my massages to freshen the legs and keep them in good working order so ready for action again.  Personal training session today with Chris at Epoc Coaching should restore a bit of confidence and self belief although that hasn't been affected too much yet but I think that would have been if I'd run this Sunday then had to take another couple of weeks off heavy training.  I have been studying training in the form of 'Functional Patterns' so in theory training that is more relative to day to day living movements and functions that prepares the body better for an all round fitness.  I don't think this on its own is enough for me but I definitely see the benefits in incorporating it into a training schedule along with some crossfit endurance and the dreaded swimming pool!  I keep getting asked if I am going to do a Triathlon or Iron Man and I have kept shrugging it off and saying 'once I have done what I want to do with the running then will have a go'.  I am just putting it off, the pool is beckoning and so is the Iron Man challenge lol!  The trouble is I swim very badly and inefficient, it looks like someone has tied my legs together and attached lead weights, while simultaneously my arms are flapping through the water like a person drowning and trying to stay afloat or get peoples attention. Not the best to be honest if I am having to swim a couple of miles!

So what shall I be concentrating on over the next few weeks while in recover??? Its the big one.......diet!!!  What I am eating, how much and when?  This will be my biggest challenge yet and its only the beginning.  Not today though, will start tomorrow ha ha!

Its been a tough couple of weeks!  In and out of thinking I am back to the training, slight niggle in my heel which could be the dreaded 'plantar facitis'!  So for the last 2 weeks its been massaging and pain killers and little running after a 4.5 mile trek with 'Dave'.  Now Dave is new to the schedule he is training for the York Sport Triathlon and since he hadn't been out training much at all I suggested he came along with me for a few training runs.  The problem for Dave is I now need a running club name for him!

Ok so where are we at? Well, psychologically I feel really behind due to my minor set back but physical the rest has probably done me some good.  The training I have done is in the bank, its done, so just keep the faith!  Rest and attention to the injury is key, don't over do it and look at what I can do and not what I can't!  With Keilder 30 miler this coming Sunday I am not sure whether to risk it for the sake of a long run.

Now we have to go back to my running with Dave! This was brilliant, there we are out for a gentle 2-3 miles and I decide to explore a different route that took us around York Sport.  The path we diverted on to was a gentle incline for a few hundred yards which I thought was great and expressed my delight to Dave saying ' great hill, love it when find beauties like this!', well Dave's face was a picture itself ha ha! It was the kind of look when you think someone is joking and 'no they can't be serious look kind of look'  ha ha brilliant and priceless! Anyway after exploring this new route and being quite pleased with myself we revisited 'University Hill' at which point I think Dave was about to kill me but he didn't have the energy or strength.  It was tough after what we had done so thought he done really well, we enjoyed the final stretch and even put in a bit of a sprint finish at the end.  After a few stretches and the power plates we ventured into the club room to see what the football score was and get some refreshments, water for Dave and a nice pint of Amstel for me.  The tennis boys had all finished there practise and were sat around the bar astonished at Dave's achievements and then they proceeded to ask 'how much further did you run to him???' ha ha this was brilliant as Dave was this intense deep colour of red looking rather exhausted and tired while I still not what I would call an accomplished runner by any means, had a slight sweat on and ready for round two.  On the plus side I was very happy with just getting out and doing a run although this turned out to be fatal.

Dave and myself both ended up with severe heel pain and have been unable to do anything since.  We managed a game of tennis the day after but hobbled round the court like two old boys.

The lesson I have learned is it doesn't matter how fit you are or how far you can run. Respect your body and respect what you have done and respect what you are trying to do!  More caution in future post race! Silly mistakes cost you.

Back in training though and that felt great :)

Back to it yesterday after a two week break from the training programme, I have still done things but nothing scheduled or planned.  I think this is important for variety of training and motivation.  I decided to get out and plod round a steady 4 miler thinking 'this will be nice, a steady little run to get back into it all',  ha ha how wrong, sorry to say it wasn't any fun and felt fairly rubbish to be honest.  My legs ached my lower back was really sore, my breathing was heavy and I just wanted to stop!  After having a good chunter to myself after fighting the demons I realised this was just going to have to be a run I get done and out of the way to start again.  Not too inspiring but it actually motivated me once I'd finished and left me realising that its not something to take for granted or get complacent about.  If you want the results you have to put the time in!

So after my quick reality check, I was back into training mode.  When they say things are 10% body and 90% mind, they aren't kidding.  The games the mind plays with your motivations and character are relentless and challenge you beyond your training programme.  I came to the conclusion that it was like a safety device the mind employs as protection, its trying to convince you that you shouldn't be doing it, and how if it can make me convince myself that either the pain is unreasonable or my fitness isn't good enough or its just no fun, then I won't do it any more.  Wrong, it just makes me want to train harder and work at it longer!!!

What did I learn from the last block of training and race.  That these challenges are achievable, and with the right training and the right attitude you can do it.  'Keep the vision, respect the process!' this is so true, when you think your not doing enough, or not improving then just remember to stick with it and keep working hard.  There is no way I ever thought I'd be finishing a 55 mile endurance race ever, a marathon was always a bit of challenge but achievable with some training, but to that twice was not something I ever thought I'd be doing.  The mind again plays heavily with you afterwards, as I straight away convinced myself that if I could do 55 then I can do 70 'its only 15 miles more!!!'  Crazy isn't even close.  This is insane, 15 miles on its own is not to be laughed at let alone after you've just done 55.  What am I thinking?????  To keep my motivation and learning I have decided to add a few things to the programme.  More stretching, this a must so Yoga will be playing a greater role, Crossfit endurance routines will be introduced and a little bit of swimming and cycling.  This seems a lot but if you spread it out and plan your week it all fits into place like a jigsaw.  My longest run for the HM55 was 16 miles, this proves to me that high mileage isn't necessarily the way forward.  Again, it doesn't mean not at all, as its important to prepare your feet and body for the up coming ordeal.

Its crazy to think that I am not that far from my target of achieving the 100!  It seems the closer I get to it the more insane the thought processes.  Just booked a 30 mile event at Keilder, thinking ' this will be a great training run!'.  Who in there right mind would consider 30 miles as a training run ha ha!

Hardmoors 55 - Part 2

So off we went into the distance towards Roseberry Topping, just the thought of it was making my legs ache.  Having gone through the experience of the Half-Marathon up RT I new what torture was ahead of us so I kept my pace comfortable and tried not to think too much about how far or how long the day was going to be. It was a fairly steady start gradually increasing into ascent after ascent but still no sign of Roseberry and I was nearly an hour and a half in, it was only 7 miles to the checkpoint at the summit, oh dear its going to be a long day for sure.  Re-assess the calculations!!!

Once I had this ordeal over with it was onwards and yes upwards over to Captain Cooks monument which is a great trail and then a long draining path uphill. Yet again I'd been here a few times now as its on the route for the much shorter half marathons that I'd done so it felt good to be in the know for where I was going, which always helps!!  So on I went with my first major target being Osmotherly at 32 miles, I thought if I can reach here in under 8 hours I am on track.  With the gruelling route taking you over the Wainstones and Clay Bank area it was looking like a tough ask, my quads were killing and feeling like I was carrying another person on my back.  At this point the end did not look possible!!!

This wasn't me but it was exactly how I felt, the kitchen sink was definitely in the pack!  I just past 20 miles and my thinking was now actually quite positive, I thought I was going to make Os in just over 7 hours if I could maintain the pace I was going, oh how wrong I was ha ha, crawling into Osmotherly Village Hall at 8 hours 10 minutes with this image of a magnificent buffet of food spread all across the hall and oceans of different drinks to dive into, I was broken!!! Barely anyone there and barely any food left, just 2 half squashed end of the packet dry sausage rolls, which actually were amazing, and then tons of sweet stuff which on any other day would be great but at this point I'd already had loads of sweet, I needed savoury.  I was so disheartened I had set myself up for this fall really I shouldn't have allowed myself to get fixated on reaching here.  My drop bag included spare socks and new dry base layer but I didn't even have time to change them I decided it was more important to crack on.  So more items to add to the pack, 'any lessons learnt yet Ed??' was the question humming through my head, torturing myself even more!!!

Only 23 miles to go, 'how hard can it be???' Really bloody hard if you want the honest answer.  I then had to reset myself and plough on entering the second phase of the run in my mind.  This was the easy bit ha ha!!  No chance, darkness fell and the head torch was on.  At this point I found myself on the middle of the moors in pitch black darkness all on my own and no idea where I was going, brilliant!  'Just keep going, stick to the path its all the way to Sutton Bank now, just keep going!'  this is all I kept saying to myself for about the next 10 miles until I eventually spotted more bobbing head torches in the distances not too dissimilar to fire flys!  I managed to stay with 2 or 3 other runners which was at least a bit more reassuring, at least if you go wrong you all go wrong, which we didn't due to one of them being local and knowing the route like the back of her hand.  I decided it would be in my favour to keep up with her, this would tactically save me I think.  As we watched a number of fellow runners go off in the wrong direction, obviously trying our best to get there attention if possible before they went on clueless to there peril.

The final check point was in the White Horse carpark, this was a fun set up they had going on, very welcoming and jolly with music playing and lights flashing, very rave like!  Just what I needed before the final tough climb back up Sutton Bank via the steps, which on any other day would be tough going but after 47 miles of hills and moors my legs were not impressed, but up I went powering one after the other, just repeating to myself  'you will not beat me, you will not break me, I will finish this!!!'.  Making it over the road at the top and across to other side where the trail went off down into Helmsley for the final 7 miles of which I new from my training run. I couldn't believe I had actually made it to this point, I'd thought about getting here for so long throughout the day, it was almost like I'd classed this as the end.  Unfortunately after doing 48 miles, 'a mere 7' was actually still a massive task.  It is at this point it becomes mental torture because you know you are so close to the end ' only 7 more to go, you've done 48 you've done it!' which is great but my legs are shot, my feet hurt, my backs aching and I just want to go home! Take my word for it, it was 7 miles that felt like 14 Hardmoors miles and anyone who has run there races will know exactly what that means.  There's no let up, there's no easy bits, and when you think it couldn't possibly throw any more at you, BOOM! 'Try climbing some steps before your final mile'.

The run into Helmsley and round the corner from the car to the Town Hall suddenly felt amazing, I'd made it, I was here at the end that I'd been visualising all day.  The relief was great, and so was the pain in my feet! There we were at the end of the Hardmoors 55, checking in and then the last piece of cruel punishment, you had to take your shoes off before entering and receiving your medal and shirt. Trust me this was not a pleasant experience with a grimacing face, and maybe even a tear as I reluctantly leaned over to undo them and pull them off.  Oh my word that hurt the most out of all of it, and I was finished.  Entering the Hall to a half filled room of applause but still plenty to make you feel championed even if the winner had finished about 7 hours before.  Medal on, T-shirt in hand, off I waddled back down the route I'd just struggled down and to my car.  Wow, I've done it I've actually completed a 55 mile ultra marathon,  now I just have the task of getting home!

What can I say, I feel immensely proud of my achievement, I worked hard to get to this point.  I also felt strong so I have the belief in myself to go on and reach my next target which will be 'The Wall' which is a 69 mile run along Hadrians wall.  This was really hard going and a real mental challenge of working through the pain and the emotions, the challenges we set ourselves and try to achieve are what defines us.  This is another one I will look back to in years to come with great memories.

Hardmoors 55, I will be back again!!!.....one day

Hardmoors 55 - Part 1

Hardmoors 55 DONE!!!!!  Wow it feels great to be able to say I have run this far, it was a bit of a slog towards the end but the end goal was to finish, and that I did.

It all started at 3.40am Saturday 21st March, that horrible sound of the alarm yet excited feeling of needing to get up and start my preparation for the day ahead.  Porridge on and final checks of kit and then wrapping up warm so as to at least begin the journey in comfort.  Placed all the food bags in the backpack and additional clothing knowing full well its all coming back out in the kit check.  I wanted to be out the house and in Helmsley early so not stressed about missing the bus, so the aim was to be there for 5.30 therefore leaving home 4.30.  This all went to pot about 2-3 miles down the road when I had this flashback of my Garmin watch charging in the kitchen, do I remember picking it up, oh chuff its still there, what do I do carry on and stuff it or go back and chance it????? Yep, I went back and chanced it, I decided it was worth it.  I still made it there well ahead of time so as to prepare myself and not to miss the bus!  So, I'm wandering round Helmsley carpark in umpteen layers of kit, headtorch on and flipflops ha ha, good job it's still early and a carpark full of other weido's doing the same.  Kit all ready and out of the car, and back to my ongoing issue of clothing, since I've got it wrong it seems on so many other occasions I thought I'd change from my original plan of starting in shorts then adding the leggings when it gets dark and cold, to......wait for it........I just added the leggings on top and thought would take off once warm then put back on later.  Not at any point thinking I wouldn't have time to do this, oh how wrong I was! So that was how I stayed all day, plus I'd had these great plans of changing my top and socks, oh no that didn't happen either but look on the brightside I'd put them in my drop bag which gets handed to you at Osmotherly check point. Great, now I just had the pleasure of carrying them all the way to the end.  Huh, genius Ed!!!!

I managed to get the bus and squeeze a few minutes of sleep before arriving at Guisborough Sea Cadets Hall.  Straight in and had my kit checked, more or less empting the whole bag, so glad I didn't pack it in any particular way.  Then I had the joy of sitting around for the next hour and a half watching everyone else go through a similar experience.  Now still being what I consider a rookie in this sport it was clearly evident being in this room.  All I could think was, 'I'm way out of my depth' and 'what am I doing here', 'I'm such an idiot to think I could do it' and then the biggie 'Why is everyone else's, barring a few other liked minded people, packs so small and not really a pack at all?????' This bothered me and still does.  My pack has everything in the kit list and a few small light extra's but looks and feels like it has the kitchen sink in it!

Some time passed and like human nature is curiosity took hold, I kept looking round the room seeing what other people did in their preparation and eyeing what kit they had with them.  The human race is brilliant really, the desire to all be different to stand out yet be part of a group. Love it, there were giddy excited people, serious and frown like people, people sleeping, non stop chatting people and dead solitary people just mentally getting themselves ready for what lay ahead, oh and one guy meditating in the corner.  I suppose I fell into the solitary category since I didn't know anyone, it just meant I could scour the room observing everyone else's antics.

After the race brief we all made our way outside to the start, the road. This is when any traffic just has to wait whilst 350 people crowd onto the road, or not in the case of my mate Daz who was still in the toilets unaware of the start ha ha!  So 3,2,1 and off we go, this is it, this is what all the training has brought me to, this is how far I have come.  I had one goal, FINISH!

Can I actually do this mamouth challenge I have set myself?  This is what I have been dealing with all week, ifs, buts, what if's, can I's??????  At the start of the week I decided to call it the psychological phase, well I am going to call this last week the 'Paranoia phase!!!' Its unbelievable the games or tricks the mind plays with you on this final stage.  Its almost like there's a final barrier to break through where the mind knows the body is in for a tough time so what it does is sends a barrage of message's in one form or another to try and convince you not to put yourself through the ordeal.  Its very good at this, because if you let it, it will beat you!!!!  Major crisis today, as per normal I'm not actually that prepared apart from rushing out and having to make the normal last minute buys such as mmmm yes a map that would be a good idea, mmm waterproof leggings since there on the mandatory kit list and a survival bag, you know kind of quite important things but in the world of Ed last minute will be fine ha ha!!    Now that wasn't the crisis, that's just normal behaviour in my life, so to do anything other would upset the rhythm yeah????  I ordered a super duper new waterproof jacket as required with a hood unlike my wonderful Christmas present that I really want to wear for it but can't.  For the right reasons this was ordered, anyway this was at the start of the month now being a good 3 weeks in 'no' jacket so I give them a ring and its been sent back and they'd forgot to notify erm meeeeeee! The chap on the phone was great so I can't complain at all they were really good, I chose a new jacket and its arriving next day please please please as my run is the day after!!!

How do I feel??? Quite good actually but this I think is that my brain is deflecting the actual reality of what I'm doing because it knows its in for it.  Laugh I know, what the hell am I going on about, but its true, I have no worries or concerns about the distance only food, drink and whether I can prevent myself from getting lost ha ha! The distance is irrelevant, as its the ability to keep going so therefore it doesn't matter if its 10 miles, 20, 30, 40, 50 or a hundred. Learn how to survive it and you have the key.  That's what I am convincing myself and I'm sticking to it!

Tomorrow will be exciting as just want to get on with it now but final kit checks and bag backing in order followed by work, gym, jacuzzi and the right meal!!!!  Then bed..........

Next blog will be Sunday, what happened? how much I'm hurting! and whats next?????

The End is near!  Well, to phase one any way.  I am now going through an interesting period psychologically, its the questioning phase I've decided to call it. Have I done enough training?  Am I actually going to be able to do this? How long will it actually take me pessimistically and honestly? Have I got all the right kit? Whats the route really? Whats the plan for the day parking wise and meeting the bus? Why haven't I been thinking about these things already, I only have a week to go??? aaaarrrggghh!!!!

So my week included a few steady runs including hills and speed work.  Nothing too far and demanding yet trying to push myself in a different way.  Managed the gym a few times just to keep up with leg work and upper body strength training and core of course!  More importantly, I spent the week convincing myself I will be ok! I have done enough training and hard work to get me round, I am stronger than I have ever been and my endurance has improved without a doubt.  My actual long distance runs haven't been enough, without question the bit I know I have slacked on, but overall I have done more than I have ever done for anything.  I am ready, I can do it, I will do it.........

Like I say the questioning phase??????????????