After a great weeks training last week, good gym work conditioning the body to different stresses, hill work, interval training and bags of cross training I have tired myself out and become run down and now dealing with a low immune system that has let a sore throat develop and flu symptoms arise!  I have eased off for the last two days trying to allow some rest.  Which after being told this is what I should be doing, I still find very difficult as a person who tends to fill every minute of every day with something its hard!  Resting is harder than training, fact!  I can't sit still, I spend all my time thinking I should be doing something, I feel guilty for not utilising the time better.  I cant even read because my concentration isn't good enough with feeling a little ill.  Its hard to even write this lol!

A nice diversion was a topic we came across earlier whilst I was having my massage.  'The perception of fitness levels'!  This is a great area to talk about because we all have a different perception of either our own fitness or other peoples and what we consider to be fit.  Now I run pretty much on average every other day, I have completed double marathons, triple marathons and a quadruple marathon, I play tennis 40 hours week I play squash twice a week and I do various other activites yet I have days , like others do I'm sure, when I can be out running or in the gym or playing a racquet sport when I question my fitness.  I feel like yes I am reasonably fit but I don't consider myself really fit, a trained athlete or super human, but when you compare yourself to some that is how you look or how they see you and describe yet you compare yourself to some others who seem super fit and super human and I just think I am average and need to train really hard consistently for a long time to get anywhere near where they are or even that I can not possibly ever be as fit as them.  Its an interesting psychology battle I think as we constantly raise the bar, we constantly expect more from ourselves, theres never a point that's enough!

Just todays ramblings and thoughts!

Great finish to my weeks training.  I decided to go for a quick 5-6 miles carrying my hydration pack as good to keep practicing with it on.  My legs felt great, almost difficult to slow them down, its bizarre how some days you cant get them to move at any pace and feel so heavy yet other days like Sunday they almost pick themselves up and just go.  When I thought I was going to hit a tough patch I just got my head down and pushed on but to my surprise my legs just kept feeling strong.  My thoughts just kept swimming around ideas of the Sahara and how I was going to cope, this occupied plenty of my time lol!  I got back to the gym and set about my stretching routine as I was then going to play squash, this I like doing after a run as my legs are done by this time so it makes me really dig in and my competitive edge makes me keep working hard till the end.

This morning was meant to be a long run but felt tired after my crack of dawn tennis lesson.  So the gym it was, I put myself through a heavy work load of upper body weight training and a series of squats, lunges and kettlebell drills.  I followed it all up with a stint on the stairmaster pulverising my legs by doing a number of sprints hoping this will improve my cardio.

My body is holding up well but I need to be careful now not to over do it as I can feel my addictive nature kicking in and the desire to just keep training and training.  I am doing a short run before work this afternoon just to loosening my legs up.   Double sessions are good for endurance training, but not all the time as will now feel exhausted tomorrow.

Questions I put to myself, how much? how far? how strong? how specific?

I woke this morning as normal by a ridiculously early alarm with the intention of getting a medium run in knowing I had done a lot of training over the last few days.  With in minutes the chirps up and a text message comes through, now at 6am I don't get many messages so I kind of know who it could be.  It was 'Gaffer Gath', Matthew messaged me to see if  I wanted to do a long run this morning instead of his lesson.  Not good for my bank balance but he was going anyway so I thought I should join him.  It was to be longer than I'd planned but good time on my feet and the mileage was important.  It was a disaster!  After 3 miles I felt like I had hit the wall, my legs felt heavy like I was running in treacle, the lactate felt like it was gradually building up legs like an overflowing cup but I kept going with a few rest stops to re-motivate.  The problem on days like this your mind just wants you turn round and go home and give up on it as a bad day at the office.  This feeling of suffering and mental toughness is exactly the practice and experience your body and mind needs.  I needed to push on through so I knew I could still push myself even when things aren't right and its just not happening, because this is not a true reflection on how it feels every time although your demons in your mind will tell you it is, in fact it will try and convince you that you cant do it, why are you bothering, whats the point if going to be like this, your not good enough, you haven't trained enough! Its all lies to make you stop and rest and have it easy, its your body reacting to pain and hardship because it doesn't like it.  This is when to keep going, this is when you learn the most and gain the most.  Rest after yes for sure, but don't give up because your inner self is trying to convince you its bad for you!

We managed to drag ourselves round with a few stops or walks but not for long each time just enough to re-energise.  Once we had finished I was actually dead chuffed to have pushed on through, not ideal for marathon training but great mental training and time on my feet for the Marathon de Sables.  I am constantly learning lots of little lessons that you only really take note of when you actually fall into the trap yourself, its ok to hear from others but to have that experience that afterwards you say to yourself, 'please don't do that again, please learn from your mistakes'.  Make a note then move on!

Whats next......

With half the money paid for my adventure to the Sahara I am now even more motivated than ever.  I have notched up the training to increase the base level and to start adding more relevant training methods and exercises.  I am working towards various other events mainly to break down the size of the challenge by doing it in chunks and giving myself phases to work different aspects of the training that I want to do.  My mind set is becoming more and more focused on the job in hand and it is becoming more and more real.  My worries are simple ones at the moment but mental preparation is key, being in a position to either understand whats going to happen and how you deal with or/and knowing you have research a particular area as much as you can so theres no surprises.  I don't like not knowing whats going to happen to my body I like to prepare myself mentally and physically for the event.  My concerns are minimal at the moment but if you start checking them off your list early then there is less worrying done and more relevant training done.

I am going into Phase 2 of my training now preparing for York Marathon and then The Spine Challenger.  Strength and Conditioning work with speed work is my focus for the next six weeks continuing the work on my core.  Ideal weight for the marathon now is 14 stone 4 lbs so I need to lose approximately a kilo and a half!

So, 60 miles 20 odd hours and mind games galore!  This is Ultra running at its best.  It was 2.45am Saturday 20th August and my alarm was ringing but my body and mind were ignoring it, almost like it was a bad dream and it will go away.  It didn't.  Then I remembered I was meant to be doing something, 'going on holiday' nope it was definitely not that, 'going to work' nope I knew it wasn't that, ah yes 'The Ultra Tour of the Peak District' now more recently renamed as ' The Ultra Tour of Rain and Pain' ha ha!

The plan had been to meet up with Rob at the beginning which was in a place called 'Whirlow Hall Farm' just out of Sheffield, then for me to registered and both of us listen to the race brief.  I got there in plenty of time for a change.  I followed the signs and rocked up in this field that had been sign posted 'Event Parking', pitch black at this point but I thought there might have been a few cars there with people getting there kit together and packing bags etc.  Noooo, I couldn't see anyone or anything until I had driven half way across this field which I had very little confidence and thought any moment I was going to be stuck as it seemed waterlogged. Then suddenly the shape of two tents in the top corner started appearing more clearly and a couple of cars so I drove over and parked up.   I guessed one of them was Rob and Amy, but it still I was a little concerned at the lack of others.  I went and signed in first, then went back to the car as they gave me some goodies that I didn't want take round with me.  Rob was up and about, stressing about his phone not charging but generally excited about the race and keen to get cracking.

The race brief was fairly short just outlining a few changes to the route and where the feed stations were etc.  Then before we knew it we were out at the start line ficheting about doing last minute kit adjustments and pointless little stretches that make us feel better but actually probably do nothing to help you lol! 3, 2, 1 and we're off!  Steady start but just to help you get into it a bit there's a nice long incline to really get the lungs working and heart rate up.  Think I'd sweated a couple of litres already, my thoughts were 'oh god, is this a sign of things to come!'.

We began the race together which is great as you can have a bit of a chat and some banter in the first section before it all becomes more spread out.  First checkpoint for the dibber, and I nearly missed it if Rob hadn't shouted back to me ha ha!  This was where he moved on, which was inevitable as was moving quicker than me so he pulled away to the point I couldn't really see him in front of me any more.  I knew that would be it pretty much till the end that I see him as I wasn't going to be able to catch up, fact!  By this point your surrounded by the runners which are about your pace and that you will probably see quite a lot of during the race, some you want to stay with and some you cant wait to either be faster than them and pull away (always good incentive to go up a gear) and then the ones that pull away from you. I ended up buddying with a chap called Coem he was from Bristol originally Holland, we were going at about the same pace so we used each other to push on.  I like this situation as you both get used to the other and if its mutual (never anything said by the way) then you tend to just move on together.  I may lead for a while and keep pushing the pace then the other leads for a bit dragging you along and then it continues until you get to a point usually after numerous miles in this case about 30 before you ask each other there name lol!  This was how our race went, before long we were relying on each other to get us to the end, or at least to the cut-offs in time.  This seems to be a theme in my races, whether its I feel the need to be pushed by another or to feel like i'm helping someone else by pushing them along but whatever it is it keeps getting me to the end and in time!

The rain started off in just short showers pretty much from the start.  Once we started climbing and getting more on top of the moors the rain became harder and the wind was blowing it you with a fierce venim.  This suddenly seemed like it was going to be a very long day!  The trail had started with numerous little orange flags telling us the way to go, so I ambled along feeling reasonably confident of the route if it was like this.  Oh no, it soon became challenging when I cam across a right turn that was labled for us, but there was two arrows both pointing in different directs to what I could go.  My initial thought was definitely not for me just carry on.  In reflection, I am glad I took a few moments to get the map out and have a look and wait for the next runner 'Coem' to come along and see what he thought.  After deliberating over this for a while we decided we needed to turn here but I didn't like it as nothing suggested we should and I really didn't want to be back tracking up the steep incline back to the retched sign post and arrows.  We soon got to another turning point that had a few landmarks that I could use on the map to gauge where we were and we headed off.  I decided from that point that I didn't trust the little orange flags and I was going to constantly follow our movements on the map.

After leaving the next check point it was a tough grind across the moor with a view of a lake on the left that we were to follow.  The weather came in again, heavy rain blasting you in the face.  This continued forever it felt like but once we began our descent it seemed to calm a little.  We passed the mobile checkpoint, a marshal walking up and down the path with a dibber for us to check in with.  Now we were heading back along the lake we had followed from the tops and all I could keep thinking was, 'at some point we are going to have to go back up' as we had to re-join the path we were on and revisit a checkpoint which was doubled up due to the loop in the route.  The main target now was the cut-off checkpoint at 45 miles, mainly because I didn't want to have got 45 miles into a 60 mile race and then be timed out that would have killed me.  So we battled and tried to push as hard as we were able to, which on first looks isn't that quick but when you've already done 45 miles anything is good as long as you just keep going.  My original goal was to get it done in day light or at least near to it, but this was now looking impossible and by long way off!

We reached the cut-off checkpoint with an hour to spare so made the decision to take our time and get some food in us and be ready for the final stint.  I made the mistake of eating too much too quick and my body reacted badly to it and me feel nauseous with eventually making me want to throw it all back up.  Once we got going I knew I would feel ok again it was just the body not being used to taking the amount of food that I had forced down.   We set off in good spirits and ready for the final leg.  Powering on trying to follow the little orange flags and the start of dusk falling apon us.  We came to the final 6 miles following a river and awaiting the crossover where the final checkpoint was but it never came.  I became more and more warey of this problems the orange flags had not been seen now for a while.  So our map reading skills came into question and we decided to deviate from the path and head to the road and from there try and find our way.  This proved a nightmare and our undoing, eventually ending up in Grindlethorpe!  This was not good! After many deliberations we decided to call Ian the race director and ask for his help.  The decision was that we just make it back the best and quickest way possible which was going to be another 6 miles so in the end will make it about 64 miles!

We finally arrived back at HQ to everybodys relief!  The hot stew and cuppa were almost worth the extra miles but the problems I had after were definitely not worth it.  I got to my car all excited at the prospect of just going home but to my dismay the key fob wasn't having any effect when I press the button.  Well the words that were coming out of my mouth are definitely not repeatable even on here but you can probably imagine.  Anyway to cut a long story short, 6 hours later after going back and to the car in the field testing the key and trying to dry over heaters in the toilet block, calling the recovery company and having no help and then sleeping rough in a farm yard.  My Dad eventually came to my rescue, not in the form of picking me up but with the information that showed me the magic key which is hidden in the key fob for the passenger side door.  Hallelulea!  So I was now home bound thank goodness!