What shall we do next?
That was the question I've been pondering over for the last three months really.  Yes that long!  The reason for that is mainly due to a knee injury that took 12 weeks to recover from (the same knee injury that I thought would only put me out of action for 2 or 3 days until the swelling went down lol) and then moving house which has been stressful and tiring, and top it all off I've had 'The never ending cold'!!!!!

So what's next?  Well it was meant to be 'The Hardwolds' last November but I pulled out of that as only just felt like had recovered that weekend.  The purpose of that race was the build up to 'The Viking Way' but since I've still not been training I'm going to have to pull out of that too!  I find it really hard to pull out of an event but I've done next to nothing in training I still haven't quite got rid of my cold so my body isn't functioning properly yet so my endurance levels are minimal.  So to go and attempt to run 147 miles in January would be ludicrous.

So what's the plan now?  For me to pull out I feel I need to replace it with another race further on in the year.  So I have a new plan if I can get the go ahead from the boss!  I have the 'Hardmoors 55' on March 17 so I'll do my own long runs and training to rebuild base levels extra for that and to build on my strength and conditioning whilst still trying to get down to 13 and a half stone which I am well on with now, as just dropped under the 14 stone mark, yippeeee! Then a slight rest before pushing on with my training before having a go at 'The Fellsman' which is the end of April and would be great training for the LL100 in July.  My real dilemma though is I'm super keen to do the Hardmoors 110 at the end of May which I want to be possible.  A tough ask but fancy having a crack providing I'm injury free and feeling strong.

This now seems like a great plan and the disappointment of pulling out of the Cockbain Events race will be overcome as very excited about the prospect of my new adventures.  Sarah (The Boss) and I have now bought a house near the Yorkshire Moors which is amazing.  Apart from the house being amazing and everything I ever dreamed of, I am now in great training environment.  Can't wait!
I'm actually starting to feel re-invigorated and excited about the next phase of my training, I'm going to be putting extra effort in the new year, with getting my weight down or should I say fat percentage and working on my speed.  This is now important I think, since I know I can last the distance its about moving faster initially in the races.

Motivation! Motivation! Motivation!

What's it all about?  I get motivated by the desire of achieving success in these long distance races and the more I do of them my motivations and goals change.  Its not just the distance now, because the longer tougher races I've actually got to start being quicker over the first half of the race to achieve success and this sort of distance is around the 50-80 mile mark.  So my new focus is on getting faster at completing a 50 mile event.  This should be possible, as I have more knowledge and experience now, and I'm fitter and lighter than ever before.  Its going to be the mental battle of pushing myself between 30 and 50 miles.  This will be fun! Love a challenge :)

Push yourself and set challenges that once were unimaginable but are now just touching distance away!

NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha ha famous last words. Well I promised myself to go back and complete the Hardmoors 60 after getting timed out last year.  I knew it wasn't going to be great last year due to lack of training and on the back of doing the MdS but I still wanted to have a go.  It just wasn't meant to be for a number of reasons but I vowed as normal not to be beaten by it and to go back and complete it properly.  Well, early last Saturday my journey began.  I crawled out of bed at 3.45am with most of my kit ready for off, just a matter of getting dressed and having breakfast. Bags packed and ready for off, a very sleepy 'good luck' from Sarah before I left.  The drive was ok for saying how early it was and I managed to do my usual challenge of beating the Sat Nav to the location and arrived ahead of schedule at 5.20am.  The car park in Filey was a hive of activity for the ungodly hour of the morning it was.  I started the process of getting prep'ed and went to sort the parking ticket out.  I had the exact change in my pocket so I was all ready.  My turn came and I just whacked it in and pressed the button without reading the instructions ha ha whoops!  I sat back in the car and was about to place the ticket on the dash when I realised something wasn't right, it was 5.30am in the morning remember, the ticket was only paid up till 1pm. There's no way on this earth I'd be back for that. I didn't understand, on Jon's email he said £5.50 but on inspection the second time it said 24 hours parking £9.  Now what am I going to do, not a lot I could really but I used my card and bought another ticket, so now it had cost me £14.50 whoops!!!!!

Once on the coach and on our way I decided to use the time effectively and get my head down for a bit of sleep.  Not easy on a bus full of people about to run 60 miles but it was worth trying.  It seemed to take forever which wasn't a bad thing.  We arrived in Guisborough and pulled up in the carpark.  The chap next to me got up and quickly shouted out and started whinging about his bag being wet which was a bit weird as we couldn't work out why.  I grabbed my pack but there was something that wasn't quite right, it was dry though.  We all scurried off the coach into the Sea Cadet hut ready to get bagged checked and receive our numbers and trackers.  The kit check was straight forward for the first time ever, I was then off to the other queue.  I got sorted and decided to find a parking spot where I would begin to get the final bits ready.  At this point I was trying to keep eating little bits and drink plenty of water.  This is when I realised what had happened on the coach, 'it had been all my fault!!!!' the chap on the coach who's bag was soaked 'IT WAS ME!!!!' oops.  My all new singing and dancing Montane squashable bottles had leaked, nearly three quarters of one which holds half a litre.  His bag must have been drenched.  So now here I was at the start of the race feeling mega guilty and hoping I didn't bump into him again lol!

It was soon time, the race brief amusing as ever, then the gathering outside to get it started.  The count down began and we were off Hardmoors 60 2018 had started.  It was a steady start along the road chatting away with Darren a lad I'd gone to school with and seen a few times at these events.  He was a much faster runner than me so I thought it would be good for me to try and stay with him as long as possible.  It was good though as we had a good natter and those fist few miles flew past. For me this run doesn't really start until you get to Saltburn, that is when you get introduced to how its going to be for the rest of the run.  Steps, more steps and then some more steps and then when you think you've finished some more steps lol! We were in it now and it was time to get stuck in, I wasn't DNF'ing this race I was finishing!

From the moment I woke up at home I'd not been feeling well and had been praying it was going to clear up.  It didn't.  I'd just gone through Saltburn and on my way to Skinnigrove and I felt terrible.  I had like a stomach cramp like ache and felt nauseous constantly.  This didn't change at all.  It was starting to get me down I felt rough and struggled to eat and drink without bringing it back up.  All I wanted to do, was firstly get to Runswick Bay which was at 23 miles as I knew my drop bag was there and it was a cut-off.  My second target was to get to Sandsend to see Sarah as I knew this would make me feel better and give me a boost.  As I came into Runswick Bay Carpark I was praying for watermelon at the checkpoint.  There always seems to be some here so I had all my hopes pinned on it, and yes, it was there!  Oh my lord, it was amazing ha ha. I then sat down with my drop bag and tried to eat some food and refilled my bottles.  I hung about for ten minutes before picking myself up and getting on with it.  I couldn't afford to lose to much time there but I was in desperate need of a short break.

More steps, and more steps, then even more steps!!!

This was not helping how I was feeling, each time my heart rate went sky high I began to feel even more nauseous it was horrible.  I was letting Sarah know where I was each time I reached a major point, I knew she was following me on the tracker but I thought it would be helpful to back it up.  The plan had been to meet at Sandsend again so that was what I had my mind set on.  By this point I was really starting to struggle, it had begun to affect me mentally and this is never good.  I kept pushing on with my only focus being to reach Sarah.  She'd have the miracle cure I was sure of it!!
I carried on reaching the cinder track that I remembered was the approach into Sandsend before the little path on the hillside and down the steps.  This was a great sign so I up'd the tempo a little even though I was feeling worse by doing so.  Down the steps towards the carpark, I'm so close now.  In the past we've had a red car and it stood out at this point so I could see Sarah waiting and cheering, but not this time, we have a black car now and the carpark was full of them!!!! Last few steps and I was there, but no sign of Sarah and the miracle cure.  This was bad news, this hit me quite hard as I'd been banking on it so much.  I went to the end of the carpark and found a nice little spot to perch on.  I decided to try get some food and drink in me anyway and I'll try to contact her.  For what ever reason we hadn't met and I wasn't going to get upset as its learning to adapt that's the key here.  We arranged to meet in Whitby so I got a wiggle on and got moving since this was only a few miles so not far really. Along the way I passed a friend and his family who'd been on the beach and packing up.  This was a great little boost even thought I'd let a few pass me it was great to say hi.  He said, "I saw a load of nutters doing some mad race and wondered if you were here!" so we had a laugh about it then I pushed on.

Once I got into Whitby I felt a bit better but now I was wondering where I was going to meet Sarah.  I thought I'd push on a little into the town before calling.  I got to the Wishbone and decided this would be a good spot to call.  It turns out I'd just ran past her she was back up the road I'd just come down lol!  We had a hug and I told her I was feeling terrible but I should be ok then I asked what did she bring.  The answer was, nothing you didn't tell me to. EEEEEKKKKK!  There was coffee though, so I had a sugar coffee and a snickers out of my pack.  This was ok, this made me eat more and get some kind of a boost from the coffee.  We arranged to meet again at Robinhoods Bay which again helped me mentally as gave me another target.  So off I went into Whitby crossing the bridge through the crowds then up the steps at the Abbey.  Yes more bloody steps!!! Upon reaching the top I knew this is where the trail begins again so I detoured via the Ice cream van.  Wow, best thing ever, highly recommend it.  This and a drink of Fanta then gave me the legs to kick on to Saltwick Bay checkpoint.  I initially still didn't feel great but this nauseous feeling passed and it was starting to come together nicely.  I had a great spell here passing through the checkpoint and on to Sarah at RHB.  I arrived feeling great and smiling, she couldn't believe the difference.  So I guzzled down some lucazade and another sugary coffee with a quick something to eat and said goodbye.  That was the last time I was going to see her before I got home in the middle of the night.  I was convinced now that I was going to be ok for the rest of the way and be able to finish comfortably.  Oh how things can change so quickly.

The ill feeling came back and it was going to be a hard slog the rest of the way now.  I'd had just under 10 miles of feeling great so about 30-40 was my good spell.  We arrived at Ravenscar well within the cut-off but not with time to waste so it was a little rest and a re-fuel before off.  I'd met a small group that I'd settle pace wise with and moved well with them so the plan was to try and move on with them as we seemed to work well together.  I met a guy called Dave who I stayed with the rest of the way as we seemed to be about the same pace and I sensed he was desperate to finish it like me.  This was great as its much better when you're able to pair up or work in a small group.  Its like the pellaton in cycling, you each take turns pushing the group then resting whilst someone else leads.

Scarborough was the new target, just got to get to Scarborough then along the front to the checkpoint at Holbeck Carpark.  This was going to be a grind, with feeling ill and the dark set in.  Its a tough part of the route in the dark as it seems to go on for ever and the lights never seem to get any closer so mentally its like torture.  We didn't have time to dilly dally as it was going to be tight for the cut-off and I wasn't missing it this time so I decided to lead the pace.  I pushed on hoping they would stay with me but they started to fall back and I was almost on my own now.  Then this girl caught me up called Emma she was running with her boyfriend who had joined her at Ravenscar. She wanted to push on too and encouraged me to stay with them which was great.  Dave soon caught us up which I was pleased about as it showed how keen he was to finish and be able to push on.  Emma kept leading the pace with a run/walk pattern and giving us mini targets to run to.  This helped as it made us move quicker but you knew you got a mini break each time.  We eventually got to the end of the promenade, remembering my nightmare from the previous year and trying to make sure I didn't make the same mistake again and take everyone else with me.  Emma's boyfriend knew the path but was a little concerned about the tide but it turned out ok.  We reached the long road from the beach up the hill to the carpark, wow this went on for ever.  We made the cut-off with time to spare and a little cheer from the marshal's as this meant we were going to finish the race barring any silly mistakes or injuries.  So we fuelled up and moved out.  It was just Dave and I now, the end was near we just had to keep going.

It felt like a tunnel, endless and no light to aim for.  Actually that's a lie, there was a light, it was a beacon on Filey Brigg which was the target but the light never got any closer.  Every sign was giving us false hope as they all seemed to be confused about the distance.  We had a little wobble in the woods at Cayton Bay where we went down the path to the beach then realised this was wrong and had to go back up the steps which did not do me any favours at all.  It was fine though we cracked on as we just wanted to finish and go home now.  The path was winding in and out as we followed the coastline, lights appearing then fading away leaving us feeling like we were drastically going the wrong way.  Then finally the Brigg and the carpark appeared and the signpost that says "Helmsley 109 miles".  This was a euphoric moment as I knew that was it, we were there!!!!

So along the path into the towards the town with a few little surprises along the way involving a hill and yes even more bloody steps at the end.  The final treat was the road to the Methodist Church Hall was a long steep climb, oh my god!!!!


We finished and that was that, job done!  Thanks Dave we got each other through it and thanks to my amazing girlfriend Sarah for giving me the much needed boost in the middle and for always being there!

Starting again is never easy!  Well when I say starting again, I don't mean from scratch but it does mentally and to start with physically feel like that.  Since my attempt at the Hardmoors 160 I have been a little of it and wondering if that's it, the journey is over.  I still get the buzz and excitement from these challenges so I hope not.  I have signed up for something ridiculous again, and yet again I feel completely in awe of anyone who's completed one of these races.  My new 'A' race is Cockbain Events 'The Viking Way'.  Now this run starts at the Humber Bridge in Hull and follows the Viking Way which concludes in Oakham, Leicester.  Coincidentally this is where a good friend of mine has just bought a hotel, which makes for a great party at the end ha ha!

Whats happening at the moment then?  Well next week I have put myself right back in it at the deep end.  I am running the Hardmoors 60 which goes from Guisborough down the coast to Filey.  This will be a big challenge since I haven't been hammering my training and last year I came up short in the event. The good thing is I'm confident I have this race in me, so this year I'm having it.  This is basically the start of me cranking up the miles for the big one in January.

What training have |I been doing?  So far over the summer I have been continuing with my gym work with Jake at 'Old School Strength and Conditioning' and have been doing training runs with Sarah my girlfriend as we are running York Marathon together in October.  This has been great, helping her work towards her goal of first marathon.  This is a massive undertaking for her having two young children to look after and a high pressured job to do full time, and me to deal with lol! We have managed to keep upping the mileage and she is doing great I'm incredible proud of her.  Although I don't think I'm a great running partner for by the way I get told off for one thing or another each time we do a long run ha ha!  I'm just glad to be there and hopefully helping not hindering.  I have complete faith in her mental strength to get through the marathon, it may not be pretty at times but she'll be there at the end!



So what's my message, what am I learning?  That new goals and challenges may require a break or a rest or some time away, this doesn't mean you've given up it just means your going to come back stronger, keener, and more ready!

The Viking Way for me is a ridiculously hard, almost an impossible challenge, but that's what makes it all the more appealing to have a go at.  Why just keep entering events or distances that we know we can do, that's not what I'm about and I don't want my daughter to ever think I wasn't prepared to fail to achieve something great!

I have a lot of catching up to do but that won't be done now maybe after the 160.  My training has been going really, gym work has really paid off and made me much stronger and more able to deal with the work load and stresses of the training and the event itself.  I've managed to get out and do some good hill runs recently including the Yorkshire Three Peaks which was amazing, I love it, wish I did it more.  Then also just been trying to cover as much of the Tabular Hills section as possible before the event.  I have a few minor niggles that aren't worrying me at the moment but I want them to clear up asap.

Now I'm preparing the schedule and planning what food I intend to have on route.  My main concern is sleep, am I going to allow myself any or just plough on????? I will have to write 3 scenarios I think allowing for different options and how I feel, part of me just wants to crack on with no sleep and just get it done but I have two night sections to get through eek!

The planning of he race is crucial as this might be what decides whether you finish it or fail!

Whats new!!!

Well, not long to go now till HM55, infact its next week eeeek!!   How's my training being going, well I was starting to get a bit worried, I know I have been putting the training in over the last 3-4 months but felt like I was lacking actual running.  So what I've done over the last 6 weeks has been to incorporate more short runs and a few longer runs.  My confidence is quite high at the moment, this scares me lol!  What are my goals? What am I trying to achieve by doing the 55?  My goal from doing the HM55 is to have used it as a stepping stone to the 160 in May, Ive found in the past it is a good indicator for where my training is at and it leaves me enough time to up it if I need to.  I am trying this time to get a PB time which will be a sub-14hrs which may not seem great but it will show progress to me and that is what is key plus the confidence boost I will get from this.  I am now starting to consider a 55 mile race as short so I want to really start improving on my time.  What have done to try and improve this?  I have firstly been trying to get some weight off, as I think as long as its something that is appropriate to you, which it is in my case as I know I'm carrying a bit extra, then to lose a bit will definitely make my job easier.  I have also been doing a lot of strength training, not just in my legs but my core and my upper body.  This is now starting to show more and the benefits are really starting to show and its paying off.  Go's to show like I always say, 'its process, not always outcome'  believe in the process and work at it.  This has now inspired me to push on with my training and weight loss to the point where I can achieve my potential at this mallarky and enjoy it even more.  This has now become a  2/3 year project of fitness and weight reduction.

Its a sad day when you look outside the window and the weather is awful and the first thing you think is "oh wow, good training day today!"  Happy training folks, set goals beyond your comfort zone because one day they will become your comfort zone :)

With just 5 weeks to go till Hardmoors 55  my training is going well. The gym work is paying off I'm getting stronger, my whole body feels it has developed since The Marathon de Sables.  I have started putting in the miles now too which is important for muscle memory and preparing your body for the challenge ahead. My weight has dropped through a very disciplined January by 4.5kg but this is still not enough I want 3kg more off by the 55.  Its hard as once you slip and relax by allowing yourself the odd treat it feels like that's it, the discipline is gone.  Its now Feb and I have to be mentally strong again to get the extra weight off.

Last week I had a little trek up to Bolton Abbey for the 'Its Grim Up North' Ultra.  The weather was actually quite good I thought, but we did encounter some snow and sleet at times.  I was signed up for the Ultra which was going to be around the 30ish mark which I was looking forward to as needed the miles and to test myself.  Once I'd parked up I headed over to the registration tent, queuing with all the very excited and giddy group of people which is great as gives the race a certain social side which keeps it relaxed but there was a few that were like Tigger lol!  I was still waking up and getting used to chilly bite in the air.  I walked over to where the race brief was being help, I couldnt hear a word of it as they had positioned themselves right next to a generater ha ha! I then turned around as I was trying to have a sneaky look to see if I recognised anyone, and who was next to me, but Joe who I'd done the MdS with.  I knew he was going to be there but hadn't actually arranged to meet up.  He was with a couple of his running mates so it was nice to meet them too, they'd done some of the Hardmoors stuff so we were having a chat about that.

The run itself was pretty tough, it was great running around the actual Abbey and the scenery was brill.  The trail was hard at times though, it was just so muddy it really slowed me down and tired my legs out.  Good training though that's all I could keep saying to myself, good training!  I felt strong with the inclines they weren't big hills or anything so I felt I should be trying to run up them for training and to get a better mentality about it. I was slowing down rapidly, I got the first lap done and feared I wasn't going to have enough time for the whole Ultra.  After my second lap which was torture as by now I was just thinking about going home especially as I saw Joe nearly finishing.  I asked if could drop down to the marathon which they said was fine, otherwise I wasn't going to get home till late and after all is was meant as a training run so why kill myself for it.

So what can I say, great training!  This was definitely a mental training day, and I passed!!

Time for more training and the build up for the Hardmoors 55!

Time is moving fast now, when you think you have ages to train and prepare the reality is the clock doesn't stop, tick tock tick tock!  There isn't long left now, 8 weeks till Hardmoors 55, I've booked in a cheeky run on Feb 4th as part of my training.  The organisers are called 'Its Grim Up North' which I thought sounded great and perfect for me.  Since the 'Frostbite 30' was cancelled I needed something else just to get mentally in the game,  its all part of the master plan for Hardmoors 160.  I'm not going to fail at it as want to succeed at it more than ever, training has been good and I'm well rested.  I want to learn more though and the only way to learn more is to get out there.  I'm excited about the 160 but its one run at a time with the build up, to me this key, the 55 is enough of a build up as it will allow me to test my physical improvements and any strategies I want to practice.  I've also decided I want to just get better at this endurance lark, the long distance stuff really drives me.

Back to the age old problem of fitting things in.  I have new commitments in my life that as much as my running and endurance events are important to me, my new life is more.  I still want to do the endurance events but will cut back on the other races now and start being more selective.  Once I get in to the Hardmoors 1000 club I will re-assess my challenges.  My training has really started to show its worth now and the benefits are starting to show.  My main test will be the HM 55 this is where I will be pushing to do my best at this race as part of my preparation for the 160.

Small goals - big gains!

How do we keep moving forward?  How do we re-motivate constantly to keep the dream alive?  These are the questions I have now.  Once upon a time my motivations were different, it was a completely different game altogether. I once gained strength from negative things in my life that helped motivate me to be better, stronger and to want new adventures that would change how I felt.  I was used to negative experiences and turned them into positive feelings and outcomes.  What was once my cleansing process is now something else!  What I am now learning to do is to use positive experiences in my life to help motivate me in my Ultra running and challenges.  What I am learning is that being able to use happy positive thoughts can be just as powerful as the negative ones that I once used.   My desire to achieve great feats is now greater than ever, I have pride in what I want to do and a real sense of adventure surrounds it.

Everything I read up on and investigate just seems to inspire me to do more, I get excited when reading about ridiculous challenges and great feats of endurance.  I just think wow, wish I could do that!  Then I think back a couple of years, and this was exactly the sort of thing that got me into all this but now its different as I have done a few things.  Only the tip of the iceburg ha ha!

What lays ahead!

I think its important to have a bit of a long term challenge/plan, then a semi-ridiculous challenge as warm up and then smaller interim stupid challenges to build your strength and character in preparation.  I love the process, I love the training once you know what your plan is and I love working towards it.  This is what it is all about for me, not just the race itself but the process of getting you there, the build up.

How do I see the next few years?  My plans are simple really.  I want to keep building on the distance and difficulty but with a process in mind.  I have the Hardmoors 160 booked in for this May and looking for another 100 miler towards mid to end of the year.  I have set myself the challenge of joining the Hardmoors 1000 mile club which will take me to May 2019 and completing the Hardmoors 200 which will be massive for me.  In build up to this I intend to complete the Spine Challenger with the intention of completing the full Spine which is 268 miles along the Pennine Way the year after so 2020! This is all part of my process and build up to entering the Yukon Artic Ultra.  Inspired, understatement, excited absolutely.  Ready for the challenge of a lifetime, yes will love every second of how difficult it will be.

What is different now?  I have someone in my life who loves me and wants me to do these things as crazy as they are she backs me and wants to be there for me.  This makes a massive difference, its a game changer!  Negative into positive! If you want something bad enough find a way!

I found my way! :)

Its been a while...... I have now officially entered the Hardmoors 160!!! I'm actually quite excited about it, and slightly nervous but no time for worrying about it.  My training now has a purpose so I suddenly feel invigorated and desperate to move on and keep improving.  My work with Jake at Unit 17c is going well and I'm very pleased with my progress and how I'm feeling.  I am definitely becoming stronger all round, legs, core and upper body.  I'm finding it difficult fitting it in with tennis and squash at the moment but just have to keep focused and disciplined and do what I can.

Last weekend I ran the Hardmoor's half marathon at Roseberry Topping.  This was like going back to see an old friend, I wasn't able to do it last year so I made sure I was booked on for this.  My trail running and Hardmoor's adventure began with Roseberry 4 years ago in 2013 so now I've done it 4 times.  I love it, its the toughest one I do but the best, I hated missing out last year but I was back this time and did my best time so a PB!!!