This has been a very tough week.  Never thought I'd admit to missing going for a run as much as this.  I am busting to get out there, but I just don't want to go back a step or two in my recovery.  My ankle and foot is much for the rest and it has definitely done it some good, its not like I havent done any training either.  I have made sure I have worked hard in the gym with strength and conditioning and done my cardio on the bike and stairmaster.  I think also its important to have a little rest from running too so the timing was pretty good all in all.

So where does this leave me now?  With 6 weeks to go till the Spine Challenger I feel my fitness is good but I need to build up some mileage and get out and recce the route a little as panick is setting in regarding the navigation side to the challenge.  The kit I need is also important, deciding on sleeping bags, rucksacks, boots, baselayers, mid layers, jackets, stove's, food, water, checkpoints, crew positions and timings!!1 Its a minefield!

What am I learning about myself?  I think I am starting to understand that I like the fear of the unknown, I love the risk and the challenge of something so rediculous to others.  I love putting myself out there knowing full well the high percentage of failure due to the extreme nature of the challenge.  I am not trying to win, I am not looking for attention, I am not looking for a pat on the back, I am merely doing it because it makes me feel alive.  I love the challenge and the fact that I am taking on challenges and experiences that most people don't even know exist and didn't think people did, as I did, I was one of those people! I love proving you don't have to be in the elite category or superhuman group to achieve great things or complete such extreme challenges.  I love showing my daughter that the only limits or barriers in life are the ones we put up around ourselves and others.  Its almost a protective ring, a comfort blanket to some.

I do question my sanity sometimes, but then I keep seeing the amazing things other people do so I think why not, why not me!

Tough last few days really as been trying to rest my ankle after making the decision it was better to take a few days of impact and running to give it chance to heal properly.  Always a big ask with my work as always on my feet and load bearing.  So what I have been doing instead is almost as good, just not actual running!  Swimming has been my main focus, not being a great swimmer or lover of the water I resisted for a long time to take the plunge!  Not only swimming but I have increased the amount i am doing on the bike and stairmaster, mixing it all up to keep the variety of the workload and to get different forms of workout.  My strength conditioning involves muscle groups instead of just working one muscle as I decided i was just going to bulk up too much and that would mean I'd have to carry more which is not appealing!  The swimming has really taken off, due to my addictive personality type and stubborness i am really starting to feel the benefits.  My upper body strength is increasing because of it, my legs are getting a different kind of workout as it is breast stroke that I am generally doing.  My breathing and cardio seems to be improving because of it too which encourages me to do more.  My addictiveness takes hold when I get to a certain number of lengths say 40, and all i can hear myself saying is 'come on just two more' then i do them and i hear the same voice saying the same thing and before long i have done 50 ha ha!

I am currently trying to get out on The Pennine Way to recce some of the route for The Spine Challenger.  This is proving difficult just with work, family life and injuries.  Each day that passes though I read about others being out there and completing sections of the course and I am now panicking that I havent done enough.  My intentions are clear now, I need to get out there and some of it!  My training needs to alter slightly now and move nearer to pack training and more running over the next 5-6 weeks.

The need to plan is important, but the need to believe is greater!  Self-belief and mental training is crucial now.  The pain game is coming, time to get ready!

Yesterday was a bad day for my training, I had a tennis tournament semi final match where after the first set, which I dropped, I managed to get ahead but in the second game my ankle went.  I heard and felt what I can only describe as a popping noise or sensation.  It isn't really really bad, to the point I couldn't walk or stand on it, but I withdrew and knew it was over.  I wouldn't be able to run for anything or twist and turn, so the sensible decision was to pull out as much as it pained me but I had to.  So straight to the bench with ice pack and elevation, and a quick pint lol! Medicinal purposes only of course!!!

Until yesterday I have been really pleased with my progress, training has gone well and I have noticed the difference.  I went out to Millington last week and did 10 miles on hilly, muddy trails with a minimal pack prob 2.5 to 3kg in weight which was comfortable.  I managed the run in a reasonable time and felt good, no after effects either, no soreness and aching which suggested to myself that I might be getting fitter and more equipped for this event.

I like this because, I have goal that I am trying to achieve and its not a quick process its been long and with still 5 months to go my journey has been a long one.  In that journey I have changed, not only my body, physical capabilities but my attitude and mental strength.  Once I finish the MdS will that be it, goal achieved? Probably not because I am now a different person to the one who started this journey, I have evolved and become a better me.  This journey may never end, but each individual challenge and accomplishment will help me get closer!

I currently feel slightly caught between 'a rock and a hard place'!

This is because my main focus is 'The Marathon de Sables' but in a couple of months I am doing 'The Spine Challenger'.  Both have there own unique requirements, and both are going to be seriously hard.  The intention behind it was to be able to use the challenger as training for the Sahara which is still my view on it. This leaves me in the dilemma of having to start my pack training slightly early and ignore all the comments on starting to early will cause injury.  I agree with this in theory, but in practice as long as you don't over do it and prepare properly it can be used to your advantage.  That's what I am telling myself anyway ha ha!

So, where to now well........

I had a tough weeks training last week that I am really feeling the benefit from, and the effects from!  My training felt great, strength improving, legs feeling lean, running felt great even the waistline was improving.  The tiredness crept up on me, gradually as the week went on, I became more and more tired, heavy legged, stiff joints and motivation waning!

After continuing with my theme of upper body strength, core and various forms of running I decided to up the anti and take it a step further!  This meant bringing out the weighted vest!  This is a 20kg vest, too heavy to run in at the mo but great for on the stairmaster in my opinion, again with the right preparation and previous training its ok if introduced gradually.  In hign sight I would have preferred to have a go with a slightly lighter one first, so I have ordered one.  This can be used for resistance training and slow runs.  The effects were interesting though and makes you realise a few things that are going to occur in the desert.  Strength wise I actually felt good, core and lower back still noticed it slightly and legs were good, but obviously over the training time which was 30 mins they started to feel the work load.  The biggest or greatest effect came from my calves, they didn't struggle but I definitely felt it in them and know that as a result of this short test I want to improve on that.

Where to next ................???

Currently I am preparing for my strength and conditioning session followed by a short run and swim this afternoon before work.  I am hoping during my PT to iron out some definite training plans and make a more scheduled process.  Tomorrow, oh tomorrow!  I can't wait actually, I am planning on heading over to the Yorkshire Dales and doing Pen-y-Ghent one of the Three Peaks.  I want to be at the peak for Sunrise!  I am going to try some kit out but mainly its for the hill work and terrain.

Swimming, this is on my agenda!!!!  I am rubbish at it but my goal is to use learning to be a better swimmer as part of my training.  Learn something new as it incentivises you and motivates you in ways you can't normally!

MdS Training 2017 well on the way now!  After a good weeks training last week I was signed up to the MdS Expo in London.  This was brilliant, if you are ever thinking of entering it is a must!  I travelled down on Friday evening straight from work, stopping at the station bar (of course) for a cheeky pint of Amstel, or two!  I was visiting my cousin on the Fri eve and staying at his before he frog marched me to the venue.  This was necessary due to the number of catch up beers we had and the time of night/morning that I went to bed!  After rising to the shock of it being nearly 8am I got up fast and got on my way.

From the moment I walked in to reception I felt at ease, 'I am meant to be here!' Not being an obvious runner I probably stood out as one that may struggle, but if you've been reading this blog upto now you'll know I will stand a good chance if I plan it right.  I loved the expo, it was like a massive room full of clinically insane people that I felt part of.  It was a great feeling, we all had the same thing in common, we were running the Sahara!

So today I managed to finish work early and I decided I wanted to get out on a run and test my all new singing and dancing MdS pack.  I was actually quietly excited about this, new bit of kit and all!  I decided on my route, a nice 8 miler from work and back again.  My idea was to try the pack with a bit of weight in to start really experiencing it properly.  I wanted to know how it functioned, its strengths, weaknesses and any areas I could improve on it.  I wrapped 3x1kg sand bags in a towel and added 2x1 litre drink bottles to the back of the pack, this made it about 5kg.

I put the pack over my shoulders and to be honest my first reaction was 'mmm that's not bad, it doesn't feel that heavy!'  The watch set, strava on go, warm up complete, off I go or waddle should I say lol!  At first the weight was fine, no pace to my running mind you but weight ok.  The main issue was the side to side swinging of the pack at the base, this started rubbing almost immediately.  I was going to need to re-think this and most definitely learn something.  The weights had collated at the base of the pack which I guess caused the swinging motion and in toe caused the rubbing.  Note to self, learn how to pack your bag! The run all in all went well my mental notes were:

1 - upper body strength needs more work/ongoing
2 - core and lower back needs more work
3 - legs felt strong but noticeable difference with pack (strength and conditioning)
4 - feet being effected by the additional weight (soreness, impact)
5 - actually felt comfortable to run apart from moving pack

I have a new song title for The Kings of Leon, 'These legs are on fire!'

With the completion of York marathon I have been mulling over whats next.  Quiet week for recovery then begin again with core and upper body.  My running will begin short and every other run will be with a pack gradually increasing in weight.  I want to continue with doing the interval training as really felt the benefit from this and think it will serve me well to continue.  I will also be including trail runs to start getting the ankles strong.

What did I learn from the marathon?  Fisrtly, the main thing that became obvious was my socks, when my feet or toes swelled they became very uncomfortable so I need to address this quickly. My second main observation was my recovery rate, since I ran pretty much in my comfort zone, my recovery has been quick and fairly unrestrictive so very pleased with that.  Thirdly, no chaffing what-so-ever this time so lubricating well at the start paid off.  Stomach muscles began to get sore after 20 miles or so which seems to be the norm so more core work needed, legs felt strong the whole time just tightened up and began to get sore near the end.  Lastly, shoulders, these are aching now two days after as forgot to do any sort of stretching for the upper body.

Whats in the pipeline? How am I planning the next few months?  Well with just under 6 months to go till the marathon de sables and less than 3 months till The Spine Challenger it is important to begin training out on the trails and with a pack.  The plan is to select about 5 dates to get some time out on the Penine way for the spine and try to cover the distance that will be either in darkness or towards the end when exhausted.  My gym work as mentioned earlier will be based around core and upper body strength whilst continuing with short runs doing intervals and speed.

I have signed up for an mds training run in December which is 20 miles with kit which I am looking forward to for a number of reasons.  Meeting up with Lynton my mds buddy, meeting other runners and getting some kit advice.  I am also looking at the White Rose 60 end of October to have something to train towards and keep the mentality right, its a mind game aswell as a physical game!

So far I am really pleased with my progress, positive thinking and planning prove to be the key!

Here's today psychological conumdrum.  When I tell people I am running the York marathon this Sunday most people reply with 'oh wow, that's great have you done much training?' to which my response has been 'yes but with a few interuptions but feeling good', they then follow on with 'well you'll find a marathon a doddle after what you've done!' to which my reply is 'nope, there all as difficult as one another you just know whats coming!'  This is honestly how it feels, whether I run 5k, 10k, half marathon, marathon or a 100 miles.  My experience has shown me that they're all difficult its just how you decide to mentally prepare yourself for each accomplishment.  They all hurt, they all make me tired and they all need to be trained for, just some more than others.  Now being someone who just try's to finish and not really motivated by time and PB's its just about getting out there and doing it.  So, even though I've done the Hardmoors 110 a mere marathon is still a long way and will still hurt plenty! No easy runs, just less hard!